Worse Than Death
by Gabs
Summary: (final chapter now up) Set a year in the future: how does Sydney cope with losing the things she loves the most? {the end has come}
1. Ch 1

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Worse Than Death

I don't own them, don't pretend I do, so don't sue. There, I'm disclaimed.

Set a year in the future: how does Sydney cope with losing the things she loves the most? Nothing after 'Phase One' has happened, except for Dixon joining the CIA.

My mom sets a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I look up to see her smile softly before she continues on her way. I nod at her back, but I don't return the smile. I can't. I haven't smiled in over a year, and I have no reason to start now. As I look back down at the table, I can feel my mother back at me again before she goes upstairs. As I watch her retreating back, thoughts fill my head. 

They are the same thoughts I have every day, and they are in the same order they come in every day. My thoughts are the only thing about my life that is organized, truly organized. Sure, my mother runs our organization, and everything about it is painstakingly, meticulously precise. But I'm not truly a part of that world anymore. The only reason I'm still here is because of my mother. She is the last thing I have left in this world, and I couldn't make it without her. We are each others lifelines.

It's funny how things like that come to pass. Three years ago, I thought she was dead. Two years ago, I was hunting for her. One year ago, I was reconnecting with her. And now, she is the only person I trust in the world. Circumstances conspired to bring this about. If things had gone the way I had once imagined, I would now be married, or at least engaged, to Michael Vaughn. My father and I would have finally healed all the old wounds. The CIA would have been able to catch Sloane. My mother would have been moved to a nice little house, under CIA guard 24/7, but with at least some breathing room.

Instead, my mother and I are now running her old operations, and the CIA is our primary target.

A year ago, I would have laughed at the thought. But a year ago, I had hope, love, and sanity. Now I have none of those things, and I blame Sloane and the CIA for destroying my life, destroying me.


	2. Ch 2

Thanks for all the feedback guys! You rock! I have plans for all of this, and I'll update pretty soon…

It was anything but a normal day at the Joint Task Forces center, 2 weeks after the Alliance takedown. I had sprained my ankle on a mission 3 days before; and then, Kendall called a meeting, asking me, Vaughn, Dixon, Marshall, and my father all to attend. He informed us that we had acquired new intel about Sloane's whereabouts. Because it was such a big deal, Kendall decided to send 3 agents: Vaughn, Dixon, and my father. I, naturally, had wanted to be included, but with my injury, I had to sit this one out. Kendall offered to allow me to be on comms, and I had to settle for that.  
  
Things had been going smoothly: Dixon confirmed that Sloane was where we thought he was; Vaughn had all the equipment set up and ready to go; and my father was just waiting for the signal from Kendall. Vaughn's voice suddenly came through.  
  
"Syd, this is huge, and it might not all go as planned. You know that, and I know that. So before we move in, there's something I've been wanting to tell you, and it can't wait any longer. Syd, I-" he was cut off by Kendall.  
  
"Now, this is your chance! Go!" I glared at Kendall; he didn't notice. I didn't think he'd heard any of what Vaughn said, but I hadn't gotten to hear enough. I sighed, determined to talk to Vaughn as soon as they got back. Until then, I had to make sure he GOT back. I directed the three to go left up ahead, as indicated on my maps. They did so. After a few more minutes of twists and turns, they arrived at their destination.  
  
"Are you sure it's safe to enter?" My father asked.  
  
"Our sources said that Sloane went there on his own. He has no guards, no Sark, nothing." I didn't like the sound of that. Apparently, neither did my father.  
  
"Your sources? How reliable are these sources?"  
  
"They've never been wrong, Agent Bristow, so break down the damn door!" After a brief discussion, which they obviously masked, as Kendall and I couldn't hear it, Dixon spoke.  
  
"We're about to enter." After that came the sound of wood splintering and the three of them bursting through, yelling for Sloane to drop his weapon or they would shoot. There was more garbled yelling, the sound of a gun being fired, and then… silence. Nothing at all came through.  
  
"Agent Bristow? Agent Dixon? Agent Vaughn? Answer me damn it!" I shot him another glare.  
  
"Vaughn? Dad, Dixon? What's happening?" Not for the first time, I cursed my injured ankle, knowing I should be there for whatever was happening. After 10 more minutes of silence, Kendall yanked his earpiece out and threw it at the computer. I sat there for another 15 minutes, before tossing mine and chasing after Kendall.  
  
"What are you going to do about this?"   
  
"At the moment, Agent Bristow, there's nothing I can do."  
  
"What the hell do you mean by that? We have to do something! Sloane could be torturing them right now, for all we know!"  
  
"For all we know, Agent Bristow. That is not enough to go on. I need to know exactly what happened out there before I can authorize any kind of extraction. It could just be comm interference, in which case my sending in a team would jeopardize everything."  
  
"It's not just comm interference, and you know it."  
  
"I know nothing, Agent Bristow, that's the problem. And until we know something, we do nothing." Fighting the overwhelming urge to slap the unapologetic look off of his face, I limped out and drove home, glad my right foot was not the injured one.  
  
Walking into the house, I found Francie balanced on a ladder, changing a light bulb. She looked shocked to see me home so early.  
  
"Sydney… if I knew you were going to be home at this time, I would have made some dinner."  
  
"It's all right Francie, I'm just going to take a bath and go to bed." She gave me a look.  
  
"At 5 pm?"  
  
"Did I mention that it's going to be a really long bath?" She gave me a fairly sympathetic look.  
  
"Bad day at work?"  
  
"Only about the worst ever." She nodded to me.  
  
"Go enjoy your bath. You want me to make you anything?" I shook my head and started towards my room. A few minutes later I was soaking in the hot water, trying to decide what to do next. The one thing I kept coming to was my mother. I needed to go see her again. She might not know anything, but she would still help. And I needed to talk to this 'source' that Kendall had gotten the info from. With plans formulating in my head, I relaxed to some extent, allowing my thoughts to drift to Vaughn and my father, wondering if I could live without them.  
  
  
I'm amusing myself greatly with this one, so I imagine I'll do more work on it tonight... thanks for all the feedback!


	3. Ch 3

I slept very little that night, and finally gave up trying at 5:30. A little after 6, I walked in to the Joint Task Forces center. Pointedly ignoring Kendall, I walked on and found my way to Weiss. He looked worried.

"Weiss, the contact Kendall got this info from- do you know who it is?" He shook his head.

"No… but I'll find out for you. You think that's going to help?"

"It might. We can't pass it up." He nodded.

"I'll find out ASAP Syd," he promised as he headed down the hall. I didn't know if my mother would be up yet; Laura Bristow had always been an early riser, but what about Irina Derevko? I didn't know, but I was about to find out.

She was laying back, eyes closed, when I approached. But as soon as she heard my footsteps, her eyes flew open and she sat up. I wasn't sure if she was just an extremely light sleeper, or if she had already been awake. But it didn't matter.

"Sydney, how's your ankle?"

"Have you heard what happened?" I asked and immediately, her eyes darkened.

"No, I haven't. Tell me." I sighed to myself. I had hoped someone would have mentioned it, so I didn't have to be the one to tell her

Taking a deep breath, I explained it all. After thinking for a few moments, pacing her cell the whole time, she approached the glass and looked at me.

"And Kendall's not going to do anything?" I shook my head and she frowned.

"Ok. Keep me up to date, come see me as often as you can. If nothing happens, I may have a plan." She whispered the last part, trying to keep the CIA from hearing. I nodded.

"I'll be back tomorrow, if I have the time." She smiled lightly.

"Goodbye Sydney."

"Bye Mom." I walked out, and made my way back to Weiss.

"Did you find anything?"

"I think so, but I can't guarantee that it's 100% accurate."

"Ok. I'll take that risk." He nodded and handed me a piece of paper. I thanked him and headed for my desk. As I sat down, leaning my crutches against the wall, I couldn't help but notice Dixon's empty desk right across from me. I turned away so I wouldn't have to look at it and know that Kendall was doing nothing to bring him back.

A moment later, the bald wonder himself sat at the edge of my desk. I ignored him, continuing to work at my computer, until he cleared his throat… loudly.

"Agent Bristow, I'd like to talk to you."

"Go for it," I said, going back to fix a spelling mistake.

"In my office." He got up and walked away. I wouldn't have doubted that he walked fast just to spite me and my need for crutches. I slowly followed him, stopping to talk with Marshall for a moment. When I finally got to Kendall's office, he was so mad, he reminded me of a cartoon character, though I couldn't remember which one. I tried to clear that thought from my head as I waited for him to start running his mouth.

"Agent Bristow, do you have some kind of problem?" Did I have a problem? Who did he think he was, Dr. Barnett?

"I'd have to say I do. You see, yesterday afternoon, my father and two men who have been my partners numerous times… they disappeared on a mission. And what have you done to try to bring them home safely? Nothing. So yes, I do have a problem, Agent Kendall." He stared at me for a minute.

"You don't think I'm doing anything?"

"You said so yourself. Until we find something, we do nothing. Has that changed? Or have we found something?"

"No, Agent Bristow, we haven't found anything. But that doesn't mean I'm not trying! I've been talking with some of our frequent contacts-"

"Your contacts? I saw how well that worked out yesterday! Because of your contact, my father, my partner, and my former handler are all missing!"

"That is NOT my fault, Agent Bristow! I had no way of knowing that would happen!"

"OK, so now you're just going to shrug off all responsibility? You were the one with the contact, you were the one who assigned the mission, and you were the one who told them to break down the damn door! If it's not your fault, whose is it?" He stared at me, unable to answer.

"Take the rest of the day off, Agent Bristow."

"No."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm not going anywhere. I don't need the day off, I need to try to find the people I care about." He threw his hands in the air.

"Fine. Do what you want. It's what you always do anyway." With that, he stormed out and I was left alone.


	4. Ch 4

I left the office at 7 that night, after doing everything I could to confirm the info Weiss had given me. The piece of paper he had handed me contained nothing but a name: Charlie Acosta. For 12 hours straight, I worked to gather all I could about him. He was former FBI, which probably explained how Kendall knew him. I found nothing beyond that until I was about ready to give in and leave.

I was digging deep into old CIA records when I found something that was both extremely interesting and extremely disturbing: Sloane and Acosta had worked together on a joint CIA-FBI mission just 3 months before Sloane 'switched sides' and started SD-6. It had been a long-term mission, keeping them in close proximity, working together every day, for over a month. It made me wonder: would they have kept in touch after that mission ended? It seemed quite likely, but I had no way of confirming it.

I packed my things up and shut my computer down, then headed to my car. Just my luck, I ran into Kendall on the way out.

"Agent Bristow, why don't you take tomorrow off?" I groaned inwardly.

"We've been over this already. I don't need time off, I need to do whatever I possibly can to find the people I love." He gave me a look of distrust, which quickly changed to thinly veiled triumph.

"I'm afraid that's an order, Agent Bristow."

"You can't order me to take time off!" I protested.

"Fine, you have two options: either you take the day off, or I order you to see Dr. Barnett again." I glared at him.

"And assuming I choose neither?"

"Well, if you ignore the first order and come in to work, I'll have to punish you for that."

"In what way?" I figured he would say something like taking me off active duty, which would just give me more time to look for Vaughn, Dixon, and Dad.

"I'll have no choice but to revoke your clearance to see your mother."

"What? You-" he cut me off again.

"Furthermore, if you refuse to see Dr. Barnett, it will show that you are refusing to seek help for your trauma, and I'll have to revoke your clearance anyway, on the grounds of your instability." I was so shocked that he would play that card, I couldn't respond at first. Then another concern crossed my mind.

"Wait- I'm the only one she's willing to talk to, with my father gone." Kendall gave me another ill-hidden smirk.

"Well, if you're not allowed to talk to her, and she refuses to see anyone else, than she'll be violating her agreement, won't she?" Before I could formulate a reply, Kendall walked away. Angrily, I made my way out to my car. On the way home, I decided that not only would I take tomorrow off- it would actually prove beneficial. I could get Weiss to do some more checking in the CIA records, while I did some research myself. I would go see my mother again on Monday.


	5. Ch 5

Angrily, I made my way out to my car. On the way home, I decided that not only would I take tomorrow off- it would actually prove beneficial. I could get Weiss to do some more checking in the CIA records, while I did some research myself. I would go see my mother again on Monday.

I drove quickly, the radio turned down to near silence as I thought about the situation. Kendall and I hadn't exactly gotten along, but I never thought he would allow something like this to go on. I couldn't think of a way to fix things. I had to get them back, but I just didn't know how.

Little did I know, things were only going to get worse.

When I got home that night, Will was sitting on the couch, absently watching some stupid reality show. I dropped down next to him and let my crutches fall to the floor, glad I would be rid of them at the end of the week.

"Where's Francie?" I asked. Will shrugged.

"She just left about 20 minutes ago. If I didn't know better, I might start to think she's some kind of secret agent too," he said with a small smile. I laughed lightly, trying to hide how much that suggestion, no matter how outlandish, really did bother me. Will sighed, so lightly it was almost inaudible. But I caught it.

"Will, did you guys have a fight?" He frowned and turned off the TV before facing me.

"Yeah, we did. It was… really weird."

"How so?"

"I offered to help her make dinner, and she accepted. I handed her the wrong spice, and she got kind of annoyed. I apologized and told her that she'd been acting kind of different lately. She gave me this weird look, and said that she thought I was being weird. And then, she just left."

"That doesn't sound like Francie."

"You're telling me! And that was the watered down version." I grimaced.

"Ooh. Well… maybe something's going on, and she just needs some time to herself." He shrugged at the suggestion.

"Yeah, maybe. Hey, how was your day? You didn't seem too happy when you came in." I shrugged and gave _him_ the watered down version of my own story. He looked absolutely shocked.

"Wow. I can't believe it. Vaughn, and your dad… and the thing with your mom… Syd, I'm so sorry." I waved him off.

"Thanks Will." Just then, the door opened, causing us both to jump. Francie walked in and smiled.

"Will, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. It's just been kind of a stressful day. I'm going to bed now, ok guys?" We both nodded, and she smiled again.

"Night Syd. Night Will." She disappeared quickly down the hall. Will looked reassured by her words; a few moments later, he went to bed as well.

The next day was a blur, until the very end. I spent the day at the library, at my dad's apartment, Dixon's house, anywhere else I could think of that might help me find them. I found nothing, but Weiss kept looking through CIA records. He found a few small things of interest, but nothing that was all too helpful. 

As I left my father's place, I wondered if I should call home. It was only 4 PM; Francie and Will didn't know that I wasn't going to work that day, and they wouldn't expect me home so early. Basically, I just didn't want to 'interrupt' anything. Unfortunately, my cell wasn't getting good reception, and I couldn't get through.

That could have made all the difference, in the way that day ended, in the way my life has turned out… but who knows?

I opened the door to hear something strange: silence. I quietly set my things down and walked in. The TV wasn't on, the kitchen was empty. Something bad had to be going on. I was afraid that Sloane may have decided to take some more revenge by getting to Will and Francie. I was wrong; it was a hundred times worse.

At the sound of a gunshot, I ran to Francie's room. Throwing the door open, I was suddenly sick to my stomach. Will lay sprawled across the bed, a single bullet lodged in his forehead. His executioner stood not 2 feet away from his body, staring at me.

"Francie?" I gasped. She smiled at me, a cold, cruel, heartless smile. That's when I knew.

"Who the hell are you? Where's Francie?"

"You're not as smart as Sloane thought. It's been a month now, and you never realized that Francie was dead, replaced by someone else." That almost knocked me to the ground. I clutched the door frame, steadying myself.

"But how…" then I remembered. Project Helix. It had been used twice, but there were no records of who. I shut my eyes, but quickly opened them again as I recalled that the impostor had a gun. I briefly wondered why she hadn't shot me yet. She seemed to be enjoying tormenting me.

"But that's not the best part," she said with an icy smirk. She threw something at me, and I barely caught it. Pictures. Me and Vaughn, mostly. In our most private moments… she had seen everything. But near the end, there was one picture that was different. It was Vaughn and my father, chained to chairs. I could just make out Dixon in the background… on the floor. Somehow, I just knew he was dead. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some of Will's blood on the floor.

"Why did you show me these? Why not just kill me?" I whispered. The impostor sighed dramatically.

"You weren't supposed to be home so early- really, when you do such important work, you shouldn't play hookie. Sloane didn't want me to kill you, he wanted to torment you first, and do the job himself. I had intended to get rid of him, and leave those for you to find. You know, you haven't finished looking through them." I frowned and pulled out the last one. It was Francie- MY Francie- dead. Killed the same way as Will had been. That was the last straw. I gathered what little strength I had left and lunged. The impostor was obviously shocked as I tackled her to the ground and knocked the gun away.

We both scrambled up and reached for the gun at the same time. I elbowed her in the face, feeling almost satisfied as her nose cracked and started gushing, then pulled away with the gun. Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger repeatedly, until every last bullet was lodged deep within the impostor's chest. She fell to the bed, next to Will, and I dropped the gun and collapsed to my knees. I knew it was an impostor, but I also knew I had been responsible for Francie's murder, and Will's as well. Looking at the bodies on the bed, and the blood spattered around the room, I burst into tears. Within the space of 3 days, Arvin Sloane had taken all the things I cared about most... except for my mother. I was going to hunt him down and make him pay.


	6. Ch 6

A little while later, I was seated on my couch, staring numbly at the floor. Weiss sat beside me, hands on my shoulders, while other CIA agents cleaned up Francie's room.

"I need to see my mother," I said softly. He nodded and reached for his phone.

"In private." He stopped and glanced at me for a moment.

"Syd, I don't know that I can…" I interrupted.

"Please, Eric. I've lost everything else. I need to see her, I need to know I have something left." He looked into my eyes for a long moment, before sighing and nodding.

"Ok, Syd, I'll see what I can do." Weiss pulled out his phone and walked off for a minute. When he came back, he smiled gently.

"Can I give you a ride?" I was about to argue when he cut in.

"Please?" I agreed, and he led me to his car, leaving the team to gather the rest of the evidence and take care of the bodies. We made the drive in silence, my thoughts on how many lives I had screwed up. Francie and Will were both dead; I was pretty sure Dixon was too. As for my father and Vaughn… I didn't know what to think. They were still alive when those pictures were taken, but they might not be anymore. 

Suddenly, we were at my mother's cell. I looked around in bewilderment, having not even noticed that we had pulled up and exited the car. I found my mother staring at me with concern plainly written in her eyes. Weiss also gave me a worried look as he signaled the guard over.

"Let Agent Bristow in, and leave them alone until Sydney calls you." The guard gave him a questioning look, to which Weiss responded with an uncharacteristic glare.

"Syd, have the guard get me if you need anything. I can only guarantee you 5 minutes before the cameras come back on." I nodded mutely and waited for the guard to open the cell. As soon as he did, I walked in. Weiss led the guard out as soon as the cell closed. The moment they were out of sight, I fell into her arms. I think she was surprised, but she caught me with her usual grace and led me to her uncomfortable bed. We sank down slowly, and as the tears subsided, I managed to speak.

"Francie and Will… and Dixon… they're dead," I sobbed. She ran her hand over my hair soothingly.

"Sydney, tell me what happened." The next minute was spent quickly explaining all that had transpired, including my theory about Project Helix.

"Sloane set it all up," she surmised. I nodded, resting my head on her welcoming shoulder.

"How much longer until cameras are back up?" she asked quietly. I checked my watch.

"About 2 minutes."

"Ok. Sydney, you need to get in touch with Sark."

"What? He's part of all of this, he's responsible for what happened to Francie!" Mom raised a hand and placed it softly over my mouth.

"Listen to me, Sydney: Sark is still working for me. He's with Sloane in order to get all of his Rambaldi artifacts, and to bring him down for what he's done to you. Whatever happened to your friend, he was not willingly a part of it. If you get in touch with him, he can help you break me out of here, and we can all get rid of Sloane immediately."

"And after that? What happens to you, and to Sark?" I heard her sigh, her breath whispering over my hair.

"I don't know. We'll discuss that later." I nodded hesitantly.

"Ok. How do I get in contact with him?" She whispered a number into my ear as we heard the guard walking down the hall.

"Call that number, tell whoever answers that your name is Amy Farrell, and you have an interest in their company. That's all, Sark will take care of the rest." I looked up at her in a mixture of awe and fear, the fact that she had all of this planned out both amazing and worrisome. But at that moment, all I wanted was to take Sloane down, and get Vaughn and Dad back. 

"Cameras are back, and your time is almost up," the guard said before he went back down the hall. We both stood, and I looked at her. She reached over and wiped away my tears.

"I'm here for you, Sydney. No matter what you need. Come see me at any time." 

"Thank you Mom."

"No, Sydney, thank you, for giving me a second chance that I never deserved." With the cameras on, and who knows how many agents watching, all I could do was nod. I tapped on the glass, and the guard reappeared, gun in hand. He opened it and stepped back quickly, training it on my mother. She gave me a half-hearted smile and returned to her cot to watch me leave. I heard the doors and gates closing behind me as I made my way back out to Weiss.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly. All I had to do was look into his eyes. He nodded at me seriously, the usual Weiss replaced by someone who looked to have no time for jokes. I spared a thought to hope he wouldn't be forever changed by this.

As we walked back to his car, Marshall caught us.

"Sydney… Dixon… is it true?" I could only look at Marshall and nod to the affirmative. I felt what was left of my heart begging to be ripped out, as Marshall's eyes slowly filled with tears.

"Sloane did that to him? I didn't… he was… I thought…" his words stopped as the tears came. I stepped away from Weiss to wrap my arms around Marshall. He returned the favor, tightening his grip around my back.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"This isn't your fault." As I pulled away, Marshall's kind and now haunted eyes assured me that he believed this statement. But I knew the truth.

"Yes, it is. It's all my fault. And I have to make things right, or die trying."


	7. Ch 7

I had hoped we would make it to Weiss' car unobstructed after Marshall and I parted, but it was not to be. On our way, Kendall swept by, tossing out a snide order to go see Dr. Barnett immediately or face the consequences. Weiss gave me a knowing look.

"You don't have to wait for me Eric. I'll just-" he quickly cut me off.

"Syd, I'm not going anywhere. I'd tell you to take your time, but since I'm sure you want this to be over soon…" I smiled at him lightly.

"Thanks." He nodded at me, moving off to busy himself with something productive while I went to see Barnett. She gave me a sympathetic look as I let myself in.

"It seems you've been having a difficult week, Sydney." I nodded- what else was there to do?

"First losing three men who you've worked with very closely, one of whom-" I had to jump in.

"They're not dead."

"I'm sorry?"

"They aren't dead."

"I had heard that there were pictures proving otherwise."

"That's not true, unless someone has seen something that I haven't…"

"I'm referring to the pictures that had been in Miss Calfo's possession. Did they-"

"That wasn't Francie." She stopped again, giving me a long, hard look.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! That… double handed me a set of photos, and one of them showed MY Francie dead."

"Agent Bristow, is that really plausible?"

"Was it plausible to have two copies of Agent Lennox running around last week?" She inclined her head at me, though if she was truly agreeing or just not wanting to antagonize me, I couldn't tell.

"You don't believe your father, Agent Vaughn, and Agent Dixon to be dead?"

"Dixon is." As she took down a few more notes, I wondered who would tell Diane. I hoped they would at least wait until we had proof positive that he was gone, and not just go on that one picture and my gut feeling. I didn't think she would take too kindly to that, and she probably wouldn't believe it either. Barnett's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Agent Bristow?" I realized she had been talking to me, but I hadn't heard a word. I shook my head briefly, clearing away those thoughts, before looking at her.

"What?" She gave me another penetrating look.

"I think we're done for today. But I will want to see you again sometime soon. Feel free to stop in anytime you need to talk." I frowned to myself, recalling my mother telling me something very similar. There was no question in my mind of which way I'd go if I needed to talk.

"Thanks," I said shortly, and got up to leave. As I shut the door behind me, I glanced back to see her already on the phone. I sighed. No need to guess who she was calling. I walked out to search for Weiss and, hopefully, finally get out of there. I eventually spotted him, but stopped in my tracks. He was talking to Kendall, the last person I wanted to see.

I stood for a moment, watching them, trying to decide how to draw Weiss' attention without having Kendall notice me as well. I considered sending one of the younger agents over to tell Weiss I was ready, but having very little faith left in people in general, and especially the CIA, I figured they would screw that up too. Then I thought of something.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his. After a moment, I saw him reach into his pocket. He answered.

"Weiss."

"Hey, it's me. Sorry, but I really don't want to see Kendall right now. Whenever you manage to get away, I'll be waiting by the car." I saw him glance at Kendall before replying.

"Um… ok Mom, no problem. But next time, can you wait until after work to call me and ask me to bring you Moose Tracks ice cream?" I almost laughed.

"Thanks Weiss, I needed that. See you at the car." I hung up, watching as Weiss kept Kendall's attention strictly on him. I quickly made my way out to the car, and leaned against the passenger door, shutting my eyes briefly. I tried to sort through the various thoughts and feelings that lay siege to my mind, but it only got more confused.

A moment later, I heard footsteps approaching, and turned to greet Weiss. He smiled at me.

"Moose Tracks?" I said faintly. He shrugged.

"It's really good. You should try it." I made no comment, waiting for him to unlock the doors so we could get moving. That plan came crashing to a halt a moment later.

"Agent Bristow!" I stopped with one foot in the car and looked up to see Kendall striding across the parking lot. I sighed, retracted my foot, and waited for his latest lecture.

"Dr. Barnett reported to me as soon as you left her office." I resisted the urge to comment, instead waiting for him to continue.

"She has recommended that you be taken off of active duty- including this case. And I've agreed."

"What? Why? You can't take me off of this. I have to find them!"

"She thinks you may be in denial, Agent Bristow, from the various comments you made concerning the three missing agents, as well as your friend Francie Calfo." I was shocked, and had no clue what to say.

"She also recommended that your clearance to Derevko be revoked." He held up a hand to stop my protest.

"For now, I'm denying that recommendation. You still have clearance, but don't blow this, Bristow." I slowly fell into the car, where Weiss sat staring after Kendall in disbelief. I thought about things for a brief moment.

"I'm really sorry to do this to you, but can you wait a few more minutes?" He looked at me curiously, saying nothing.

"I need to go see my mother one more time." Understanding dawned in his eyes, and he nodded.

"No problem, Syd. I'll be waiting here." I nodded my thanks and once again started the walk down to her cell.


	8. Ch 8

As always, thanks for all the feedback, this chapter was a bit harder to get through than the other ones… I hope it came out ok!

As I approached my mother's cell, I heard her get up and walk to the glass. When I came into view a moment later, she was already standing there, looking concerned.

"Sydney? Are you all right? You left here not an hour ago."

"Kendall ordered me to see Barnett, and she recommended that I be taken off active duty. Kendall agreed. She also recommended revoking my clearance to see you, but- obviously- he's letting me keep that for now."

"Why did they do that?" I quickly explained, and saw anger growing in her usually calm eyes.

"I just wanted to let you know. I get the feeling that Kendall will be looking for any reason to revoke that clearance. So whatever's going on, it needs to happen fast," I added the last part in a whisper, knowing there were ears everywhere. She nodded.

"Just make that call as soon as you can. He'll act on it right away." I knew who she was referring to when she said 'he.'

"Ok. I'll do it once we're out of here." She gave me a look, one that I knew was meant to give me strength. It didn't quite work.

Not wanting to keep Weiss waiting any longer, I took leave of my mother and headed out. On my way to the parking lot, I noticed Kendall staring at me. I pointedly ignored him, giving Marshall one last sympathetic look, before continuing on my way.

Once outside, I found Weiss sitting in his car, idly changing the station on his radio. He looked up as I opened the door. He continued to watch me as I got in, shut the door, and put on my seatbelt. After a moment, I realized he hadn't started the car. I looked up to find him still looking at me.

"Weiss?"

"Syd, what's going on?" I suddenly felt nervous. I trusted Weiss, but I couldn't tell him what we were planning.

"What do you mean?" He gave me a look.

"I mean, did something happen in there? You look pretty shaken." I let out a sigh of relief, which Weiss didn't catch.

"Kendall just frustrates me. I'm sure he's just waiting for any excuse to revoke my clearance to my mother."

"Syd, don't you think that if he really wanted to revoke your clearance, he would have done so when Barnett suggested it?" Finally, Weiss started the car and pulled out.

"I think he was just trying not to look like as much of an ass as he usually is." Weiss laughed.

"Well… I can't quite disagree…" As he flipped through various radio stations, I decided it was as good a time as any to make the call. I pulled out my cell and dialed the number my mother had whispered to me. Weiss again looked at me curiously, but I ignored him. He reached over and turned the radio down, to which I smiled gratefully. I listened as the phone rang. Finally, a female voice answered.

"PK Industries, may I ask who's calling?" I frowned; that was a less than typical response. It made me wonder how deep my mother's plans ran.

"Amy Farrell," I replied.

"And what is your business?" I thought back to my mother's words of earlier.

"I have an interest in your company."

"Thank you, we'll be in touch." With that, the line went dead. I looked at my phone in surprise. That had been rather abrupt. Weiss looked over at me.

"Amy Farrell and an interest in some company? Sydney, you know you can trust me right?" I nodded.

"Yes, Weiss, I know. You're about the last person I can trust right now," I said softly, clutching my phone tightly.

"So why won't you tell me what you're doing? I can help you Syd, why won't you let me?"

"Because I can't yet Weiss! Just give me a few days and I'll tell you everything, ok? Just 3 days, I promise." As we came to a stop at a red light, Weiss looked at me.

"Ok Syd. I trust you. But whatever you're doing, please, just be careful." I nodded to him as the light turned green. We drove in companionable silence for a few moments, until the incessant ringing of my cell phone broke the relative stillness. I picked it up somewhat reluctantly, afraid it might be Kendall.

"Hello?" Weiss glanced at me as he came into the final stretch of the drive to my house.

"Sydney?"

"Yes… who's this?"

"Do not, under any circumstances, enter your home."

"What? Why not? Who the hell is this?" My frazzled nerves couldn't take any more mind games, and I knew it.

"This is Sark, your call was just reported to me. Sloane has heard that his asset was killed. He ordered your house bombed."

"Sa-" I cut off his name, realizing that Weiss would not take too well to that.

"Look, you better not be playing games with me. I'm not in the mood for it right now."

"Miss Bristow, you took the time to call and followed through the steps as Irina described. Obviously, you trust her. Would she have you get in touch with someone who intended to blow your house up, or play silly games with you?" He sounded annoyed.

"I wouldn't call this silly."

"You're right, it's not. But whatever you do, stay away, it's supposed to happen any minute." I looked up as Weiss began to pull onto my street.

"Weiss, stop!" He hit the brakes and stared at me like a madwoman. 

"There are still agents in that house! What am I supposed to do?"

"There is nothing you can do. You can't risk your life to go in there and get them."

"Like hell I can't." I shut off my phone and looked at Weiss, who seemed concerned.

"Go! Hurry!" He quickly stepped on the gas and we were soon in sight of my house.

"Come on, come on," I whispered. He glanced at me nervously. He searched and quickly found a spot across the street to park. I tore off my seatbelt and threw the door open. Weiss hopped out on his side and looked at me.

"Syd, what the hell is going on?" I turned back to tell him to wait for me there, and was rocked by a loud explosion. In horror, I turned to look at my house.

There was nothing left. I gasped for breath and took a few steps across the street. Weiss quickly caught me.

"Oh my god Syd…" I ran a hand through my hair and continued approaching.

"What the hell did he use?" I asked aloud. 

"Weiss… there were seven men in there…" I gasped again, and a sob broke through my defenses as I realized something else. It hadn't been enough for him to steal the lives of my best friends; he had now stolen all my physical memories of them as well.

"He's taken everything I have. Those men had nothing to do with this! Oh my… Weiss… I don't know what to do. I have nothing left."

"Syd, I'm so sorry… it's going…" he pulled me into a hug, and I knew he was going to say it would be okay. I pulled away.

"I have nothing, Weiss, nothing! Don't you get it? It's not going to be ok! There is no way it can be ok!" I turned and took a few more steps towards the ruins of my life. Weiss grabbed my elbow, but stopped as we heard his cell phone ringing in the car.

"Syd, promise me you won't go any closer. Promise me damn it, or I'll drag you back to that car with me!" I nodded blankly and he sprinted to the car. I only half listened to his end of the conversation, until one phrase caught my attention.

"No… no, you can't tell me that!" I turned towards him, and waited for him to finish. I saw him close his eyes and put his head in his free hand.

"OK. No, you did the right thing. Thank you." He hung up and didn't face me for a moment. When he did, I could see something frightening in his eyes.

"Weiss, what happened?" He looked at me, seemingly in a daze.

"Weiss, you have to tell me! What happened? What the hell else has Sloane done to ruin my life?" He covered his face with both hands for a moment.

"He got Dixon's house too." I knew there had to be more to it, so I waited, holding back my tears.

"Syd… Diane was home." That was the last shot I could take. I screamed, and fell to my knees in tears. Weiss knelt next to me, wrapping his arms around me, and I could feel his sobs mingling with mine.

__


	9. Ch 9

Ten minutes later, Weiss had gotten me calmed down enough to get me into the car. He settled me in, and shut the door, stepping away with phone in hand. I watched him numbly for a few moments before noticing my phone on the floor. I quietly picked it up and turned it on, though I wasn't sure why. I just needed to do something with my hands.

A moment later, Weiss cracked the door open and poked his head in. I looked up at him slowly. He said nothing for a full minute, simply staring into my eyes. Finally, a look of pain came into his own dark orbs.

"Syd, are you still in there?" he asked quietly. I think he expected a protest; I almost gave him one. I quickly decided to tell him the truth.

"Sydney?"

"I don't know Eric. People are dying… Sloane is killing them, and it's because of me. It's because of their connection to me."

"Syd, you can't blame yourself for what Sloane has done!"

"Can't I?"

"No, you can't. It's not your fault."

"But it is, can't you see that?"

"No, Sydney, I can't see that. I can't see it because it's not true. Don't argue, just listen. You have no control over the things that monster does. Stop shaking your head. Can you explain to me how it's your fault that he's done these things? Because I would love to hear your logic on that."

"You want me to tell you? Fine, I can tell you. They were killed because I care about them. Francie, Will- they were innocent. If they had never known me, this never would have happened. And those CIA agents that were in my house, they wouldn't have been in there if it weren't for me." I stopped and looked past Weiss to the still smoldering remains of what had been my home. I wondered briefly if anything was left.

Weiss drew in a breath and drew my attention to him. He was about to say something when his phone rang. He shut his eyes in annoyance, but reached for the object. He took a moment to study the caller ID. I noted a frown briefly mar his features.

"I have to take this one," he said tersely, shutting the door and walking a few steps off. I turned to stare again at the blank spot that had been my residence. Before I was able to get too deep into my dark thoughts, my own cell phone rang. I stared at it for a moment before I thought to pick it up.

"Bristow," I said softly, having not bothered to check the call ID.

"You're all right?" The usually cocky voice said in a surprisingly gentle manner. I scoffed.

"I'd hardly say that."

"I didn't mean to trivialize anything. I simply mean, are you physically ok?"

"Yes."

"Do you still wish to go through with the plan?"

"I don't even know what the plan is," I spat angrily.

"I realize that. I'll tell you everything, but I can only do that if you're in."

"Fine. But Weiss is coming back right now."

"I'll call you back in 20 minutes." With that, the line was gone. I dropped my hand back down to my lap, lacking the energy to hold it up any longer. Weiss got into the drivers seat and stuck the keys in to start the car.

"What are you doing?" I asked sharply, an irrational burst of fear suddenly rising within me.

"I'm getting you away from here. We're going back to the JTF, and agents are going to come take care of things here." I nodded my assent, the feeling in my chest not dissipating in the least.

"Guess it's a good thing most of the neighbors are gone during the day. I suppose I should say ex-neighbors." Weiss didn't reply. I attempted to shut my eyes for a few moments, but that only gave the violent images in my head a better platform to play out on. My lids flew open and I decided instead to watch Weiss' driving. I felt his eyes on me on more than a few occasions, but I ignored it. After a short and silent ride, we arrived at our destination. Weiss led the way, seemingly sheltering me from all the prying eyes that tracked our progress. 

"I'm going to see my mother," I told him quietly. He looked at me closely, but soon nodded. 

"I'll be in Kendall's office. Please come join us as soon as you're done." I walked away, heading to my mother's cell. She seemed to know I was coming; she was already standing by the glass when I approached.

"What now Sydney?" she questioned softly. I shook my head.

"It's going to happen. He's calling me again in a little while." She frowned at my avoidance of her query, but gave a slight nod.

"Ok. I'll be ready." I turned and wandered back down the hall, but stopped. I turned and looked back to see her watching me, an unreadable, pained look in her eyes. I continued on, in search of Kendall's office. The door wasn't completely shut, I noted absently as I drew near. I was about to knock when Kendall's voice halted me.

"I don't think that's wise, Agent Weiss. She's been through a disproportionately high amount of emotional trauma the past few days."

"I realize that, which is why I don't believe it would be in her best interest to cut off her access to her mother. Until we can locate Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow, Derevko is all Sydney has left."

"If we find them," Kendall sighed.

"Which we will," Weiss replied shortly.

"I don't know… I don't think Derevko is good for her, especially in her current condition." I didn't move, simply stood there staring at the floor. I couldn't believe it. Kendall wanted to revoke my clearance to my mother. Weiss speaking again caught my attention. 

"I'll go get Agent Bristow. I think she should at least have a say in this." I took a few steps away from the door to ensure that Kendall wouldn't be able to spot me when it was opened. Weiss looked startled to see me as he exited the office. Realization quickly dawned in his eyes.

"Eric, I need a car."

"What? Why? Syd, please don't tell me you're running from this." I shook my head.

"Like you said, my mother is all I have left. I couldn't leave her now. There's just something I have to do. I promise I'll have it back soon." He nodded.

"Ok. You know I trust you, but I still have to say it: be careful."

"I will." He handed me the keys and I walked out. I found my way to the car and sat in it, awaiting the call from Sark. I didn't have long to wait, as a few moments later, it came.


	10. Ch 10

I didn't give Sark a chance to speak, ripping into him as soon as I was sure he was indeed on the other line.

"Whatever the hell this plan is, it better be good, and it better be fast."

"What's happened now, Agent Bristow?"

"That's really annoying, just call me Sydney. And you want to know what happened? I'll tell you what happened: Kendall wants to revoke my access to my mother, that's what happened!" I heard him curse quietly under his breath.

"I'll get things set in motion as fast as I can," he promised.

"I think now would be a very good time to tell me just what this plan is, Sark."

"Fine, but not on the phone. We need to meet somewhere." I frowned.

"Are you in LA right now?"

"Yes. Choose somewhere to meet." I sighed and tried to think of something. The warehouse and the pier immediately jumped to mind, but I couldn't go there, not with him. Those were places reserved for Vaughn. But something else came to mind. I didn't like that much better, but it was the only thing I could think of on such short notice.

"Francie's restaurant," I whispered. Sark was respectfully silent for a moment.

"Are you sure?" he finally asked.

"Unless you can come up with something better," I said crossly.

"No, I can't. But won't it be rather busy around this time?"

"I've shut it down for now, until I can figure out what to do with it. Go around back, I'll leave that door open."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," he assured me.

"Fine." I hung up on him and started the car. I kept the radio off, not wanting the cheery songs to spite me, or the sad ones to depress me even more.

Within five minutes, I was at the restaurant. I unlocked the front door and went in, latching it behind me. Keeping my eyes down, I walked over and unlocked the back door, anticipating Sark's arrival. Then I moved back out to the dining area and finally looked around.

It was the first time I'd truly taken pause to admire what Francie had done. She had accomplished what was one of her lifelong dreams, and I had been too preoccupied with my own issues to be truly proud of her. As I continued to look at what her hard work had led to, I was startled by the sounds of footsteps. I whirled to see Sark looking at me, his face as cold as always, but his stormy, apologetic blue eyes betraying him.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

"Don't." I glared at him for a long moment. "You were partly responsible for what happened to Francie. You don't deserve to be forgiven for it anymore than I do."

"You're not to blame for it, you know." I sighed, thinking of how he suddenly sounded like Weiss.

"We are not having this conversation. I've been through it once today, it's not happening again. Now tell me what kind of plans you have in place."

"We are going to break Irina out."

"Some detail would be nice."

"I don't have a lot of detail to give at this moment, things are still being put in order. Essentially, you need to go down to see your mother- preferably at a time when there are as few agents as possible there- and use gas to knock out the guards. It's perfectly harmless long-term, so don't worry about that. As soon as you give me the signal, I will have all security measures taken down indefinitely. At that point, I'll go in to meet you and Irina on the way out. I will be bringing weapons, but those will be last resort. The three of us will get out, and a getaway car will take us to a private airport, where my plane is waiting. From there, we'll develop our own strategy for catching Sloane and saving the people you care about. Do you see any flaws with this plan?" After taking a few minutes to think about it, I shook my head.

"Nothing stands out to me. When is this going to happen?"

"You need to talk to Kendall and find out when he would be revoking your access, should he choose to do so. If we have time, we won't move until Monday. But if we're running out, we go in two days." I nodded.

"Fine. I'll go see him now." I walked Sark to the back door, where he gave me one more look before melting into the darkness. I soon heard a car start up, and I closed and locked the door. Taking one last look at the restaurant, I headed out to Weiss' car and started the trip back to meet with Kendall.


	11. Ch 11

A little while later, I was in Kendall's office, waiting for him to return from a meeting. It only took about ten minutes for him to return. During that time, I worked at keeping my emotions in check. If he knew that I was losing my grip, he would surely revoke my access to my mother on the spot. But if I could make him think I was handling everything and keeping my sanity at the same time, I could delay the inevitable just a bit longer.

As he came in, I could see him looking at me from the corner of his eye, though he tried to hide it. He walked to his desk and sat down, looking at me with what was, presumably, intended as sympathy. He didn't pull it off very well.

"How are you holding up?" he questioned brusquely. 

"I'm fine," I said shortly, my mind still working overtime to keep calm and not rip his head off then and there.

"Are you sure you can handle continued exposure to Derevko?"

"Can I handle it? I can more than handle it; I need it. She truly is the last thing I have left at this moment. And if we don't recover my father and Vaughn…" I trailed off, not trusting my voice to remain steady. He nodded.

"I'm not so sure she's good for you. However, I'll allow you to remain in contact with her until further noticed." I had to fight to keep back the surprise; that had been easier than I'd imagined. Perhaps too easy, I mused suspiciously. Kendall gave me an odd look.

"Agent Bristow?" I shook myself and hoped I hadn't just killed my chances.

"Sorry, I was just thinking…" I stopped, unsure of what to say to excuse my absentness.

"We will find them. You do believe that, right?" I almost sighed in relief. He had given me a perfect way out.

"Of course. But, um… what's being done about getting them back?"

"We have surveillance teams trying to determine if it's safe to attempt an extraction." I waited, assuming he would continue. He didn't.

"That's it?" He frowned.

"It's all we can do for now, Agent Bristow." Feeling my anger rising to the surface, I knew it was time to leave before I blew everything.

"Thank you," I said tersely as I stood up.

"I want you seeing Dr. Barnett on a regular basis. If you don't, I'll revoke your access." That was new. I rolled my eyes as I walked to the door. 

"I would appreciate an acknowledgement, Agent Bristow."

"I'll go set up a meeting later," I gritted out.

"Thank you." His voice was anything but thankful, and it once again took all I had to keep me from doing something drastic.

Weiss met me as I walked out.

"Don't you have some kind of actual job around here?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off Kendall. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. My job is to follow you around and make sure you don't do anything irrational that you'd regret later." He said it jokingly, but his eyes were serious.

"Weiss, I'm not going to do anything I'll regret. I promise." And it was true. I wouldn't regret getting my mother out of her cell and working with her and Sark to rescue my father and Vaughn. I might never be able to come back to the CIA afterwards, but I still wouldn't regret it. I'd regret nothing if it led to bringing them back.

"Are you sure of that Syd?"

"Yes." He stopped walking and grabbed my arm, causing me to stop as well. After a long moment, he nodded.

"Ok then. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all."

"Thank you." Weiss started to walk away, but stopped as something apparently occurred to him.

"Syd, where… um… where are you staying, now that…" I cut him off with a reply.

"My dad's place. I have a key." 

"Do you need a ride?"

"No. It's not that far, I'd like to walk. Clear my head and whatnot." He nodded again.

"Take care of yourself, Syd."

"I will. You too." He gave me one last careful look before turning to leave. I watched him until he left the building, and then I exited as well, pulling out my cell phone to call Sark. He answered on the second ring.

"Sark."

"He's not taking away my clearance as long as I meet with Dr. Barnett."

"Good. We'll move within the next three days, cut down on how much time you have to spend with that shrink." I almost laughed out loud.

"You don't even know her," I pointed out.

"I don't need to. I'll call you as soon as everything is set up on this end."

"Fine." I put my phone back into my pocket and began the walk to my father's apartment.


	12. Ch 12

The next day, I was awakened by the ringing of my cell phone. I rolled over and grabbed it from the table, answering groggily.

"Hello?"

"Syd? Weiss. You have a meeting with Barnett in half an hour, and I take it you just woke up." I squinted at the clock and realized it was almost 11:45. My appointment with Barnett was scheduled for 12.

"Crap. Thanks Weiss, see you in a few." Ten minutes later, I was on my way out, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes. I made it there ten minutes before our meeting was to start.

"Are you ok?" Weiss cut me off at the pass. I sighed.

"Yeah. Thanks for calling, I guess my alarm didn't go off, or I didn't set it… or something." He gave me an odd look.

"No problem. Good luck with Barnett."

"Thanks." I was on my way to her office when my cell rang again. I looked at it and wondered who it was now.

"Bristow," I answered with a sigh, figuring it had to be work-related. I was correct, to an extent.

"Sydney. Is it safe to talk?"

"I'm on my way to Dr. Barnett's office right now," I said, knowing Sark would catch the hint.

"Understood." He hung up, and I slipped my phone back into my pocket. A moment later, Dr. Barnett called me into her office. I sighed and attempted to push back my emotions. Then, I went in.

"Hello Sydney. How are you?" I was getting really sick of hearing people ask me that. I took a moment to consider my answer.

"I'm dealing," I finally said carefully.

"So you're not doing well?" I groaned inwardly; that was exactly the assumption I had wanted to avoid her making.

"I'm doing as well as can be expected, considering the circumstances." I didn't want to be too upbeat- she would see right through that, as would anyone with half a brain- but if I let her see how much everything was truly bringing me down, it would endanger everything. The moment Barnett got Kendall to revoke my clearance to see my mother, the whole plan would have to change, of that I was sure.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Again, my mind was racing. I quickly realized she was probably going to direct the conversation to dreams. She wanted to figure out how deeply it was affecting me.

"I slept all right," I said shortly, determined not to help her line of questioning at all.

"Were you awakened at any point?"

"By what?" I asked curiously, feigning ignorance.

"Anything at all. Noises, dreams, movements." I pretended to think hard for a moment.

"No, I slept through the night until Agent Weiss called."

"And was it difficult to wake up?"

"No, not at all." She nodded and wrote down a few notes. I stared at her, trying to anticipate her next move. I figured she would try to delve into the dreams a bit more, but not be too blatant about it. I was only half right.

"Tell me about the kind of dreams you've had lately." That was anything but subtle, I thought wryly.

"Well, nothing out of the ordinary, that I can recall," I said haltingly. That was a lie, from the first word to the last. I could remember every detail of each vivid nightmare I'd had the past few days, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

"So you don't remember your dreams?"

"No. But then, I never do." More lies. But the last thing I needed was her getting into my dreams and overanalyzing them.

"Ok. Well, I think that's enough for today." I was surprised; it had been just over ten minutes, and she was already done with me? But I quickly stood up; I wasn't going to complain.

"Thank you, Dr. Barnett," I said, managing to remain polite.

"You're welcome, and thank you for coming." I nodded to her and slipped out the door, breathing a sigh of relief as it clicked shut behind me.  I took a deep breath and walked down the hall. Kendall met me as I walked into the main area.

"I appreciate your cooperation. Feel free to go home now." With that, he continued past me, presumably on his way to Barnett's office. I stared after him bitterly.

"What home?" I sighed as I walked out. A little while later, I pulled up to my father's apartment and shut off the car, which was also his. Before I could even open the car door, my cell phone rang. I quickly pulled it out and answered. It was Sark.

"How did the appointment go?"

"It was… manageable. Can I take it everything's in place?"

"Yes. You'll go in there tomorrow, and ask to see your mother. Kendall will presumably say yes, to which you reply 'it will just take me ten minutes. Probably only seven.' That will be the cue, and you have two minutes to get down to Irina's cell." I took a moment to absorb all the info.

"What then?"

"My man on the inside will cut all power. A team will raid the facility and extract the two of you. If all goes off without a hitch, there will be no casualties, and the three of us will be in the air, on our way to London, tomorrow night. We'll restock and come up with a strategy while in England, and move on Sloane within the next few days."

"Ok. Any particular time I need to go in tomorrow?"

"By noon would be helpful."

"Fine. I'll be there then."

"Thank you. See you tomorrow." And then he was gone, and I was left to think about the plan. Something didn't feel right. After a few minutes of analysis, I realized that I was uncomfortable with the phrases he had used- namely, if all goes without a hitch. I knew nothing, especially something in my life, could ever go off without a hitch. With a sigh, I got out of the car and went into the house. It was going to be a long day of waiting.

Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming! I think the good stuff is coming up next chapter…


	13. Ch 13

It's a very short addition here, but I'm not writing well enough to continue at the moment, and the next part is the thing I've been looking forward to, so I want it to be good. Thanks for the reviews!

It wasn't even 1:00 and I had a full day ahead of me, just waiting for the next day. I had a strong urge to go see my mother, but I didn't want to take any chances with Sark set to move, so I stayed home. At first, I attempted to pass the time by watching TV, but I soon discovered- not to my surprise- that there was nothing even remotely intelligent on, not even on the History Channel. So I decided to familiarize myself with my father's apartment, which I had very rarely been to.

The kitchen was neat and orderly, as expected. The bathroom was tidy, and obviously kept quite clean. As I made my way down the hall, I realized that I couldn't bring myself to enter his bedroom. I stood by the door for a few minutes, looking in, but something stopped me from crossing that threshold. I eventually turned away and continued walking.

I found my way to a room that obviously functioned as his library, and began to look at the collection of books. Not surprisingly, it consisted mainly of classics. I found Jane Eyre, The Great Gatsby, Frankenstein, and a number of others. There was also a large amount of mythology and philosophy. I eventually picked out Lord of the Flies and sat down in a chair.

I never even opened the book.

As I sat down, I began to think about why I was there, in my fathers apartment, alone. And I realized it all came back to me. No matter what Weiss said, it was my fault. Sloane was the one who carried out the actions, but the actions were taken because of me. 

Thoughts of Francie, Will, Dixon, and Diane haunted me. I sat there for over an hour, just letting the images play out in my head. I soon felt myself drifting off to sleep, with memories still plaguing me. I knew it was because I deserved no respite from my own crimes. Those four people, and numerous others, would have no peace, and neither should I. As my eyelids began to feel heavier, my thoughts began to grow darker, until I slipped to sleep in a world of violent darkness.

I was jolted awake around 4 in the morning. I didn't know what had caused it, but I was filled with an intense feeling of dread. I reached over and turned on a light, then looked around anxiously. I didn't honestly expect to see anything, but it was just a reaction. I stood up and wandered down the hall, looking everywhere. I knew it was a pointless activity; the source of my fear was internal, not external, and I knew it would always be there. I finally settled on the couch to watch mindless infomercials while I waited for the next 8 hours to pass. Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, the inane ramblings of the salespeople did nothing to detract me from the overwhelming anxiety that continued to assault my soul.


	14. Ch 14

Ok, I had originally intended this to be longer, and actually get into the escape, but I've got limited time, so… yeah.

Before I knew it, 11:00 am had rolled around. I stared at the TV, which was still on, before prompting myself to get up and turn it off. I then headed down the hall and took a quick shower in the small guest bathroom. After getting dressed, I walked towards my fathers room. I still couldn't bring myself to enter, so once again I stood at the threshold and stared in. I became determined to one day see my father standing in that room, making the bed or watching the TV. Finally, I pulled myself out of the trance and headed to the kitchen, where I grabbed some fruit that would pass as breakfast.

Around 11:30, I exited the apartment and, locking the door behind me, began to prepare myself for the coming day. I found my way to his car, and was on my way to the JTF moments later. As I drove, various thoughts passed through my head. I was suddenly afraid; what if it all went wrong? Something else occurred to me… this was bound to get violent. I didn't want innocent people getting hurt. I especially didn't want Weiss and Marshall to be hurt. I resolved to find both of them before I went to see Kendall. I would get them out of there, one way or another.

Weiss was very accommodating; as soon as I had parked the car, he was at my side.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, worried.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. I tried calling- your cell and your dad's home number- at least ten times yesterday, and you never answered." I smiled apologetically.

"Sorry. I just… kinda crashed. I slept until 3 or 4 this morning. But I'm surprised the phone didn't wake me up."

"Me too," Weiss stated, and I could still hear lingering traces of concern in his voice. We started walking towards the entrance, and I began trying to think of a way to get him out of there for the next hour or so. Suddenly, I spotted Kendall not far off, and knew I was out of time to think of something good. I stopped short and sighedmiserably. Weiss gave me his look of worry.

"What's wrong?"

"I just remembered that I need to show Kendall something that's in one of my father's books, but I left the book at his apartment."

"If it's that important, I'm sure he won't mind you taking the time to go back and get it." I groaned inwardly; that was not the response I wanted. I began racking my brain for some kind of excuse to have Weiss go get it instead. He seemed to take my silence as something else; it got the job done.

"Would you like me to go get it for you?" he asked gently.

"Oh, Weiss, you don't have to," I replied, not wanting to set off suspicions by appearing too eager for him to get it.

"It's ok Syd, I don't mind."

"You're a lifesaver," I said truthfully as I handed him a spare key.

"What and where is it?" I paused, running through my recollection of all the books I had seen.

"Uh… Conrad's Heart of Darkness. It's in his study, you can't miss it." Weiss nodded and turned to go.

"Oh, wait!" I called, and he faced me again. "Do you know where Marshall is?"

"Kendall gave him the day off. He's worried that this is all affecting his ability to perform." With that, he left. I stared after him. That was odd; Kendall wasn't known to give days off, and Marshall certainly wasn't known to take them. But as I took a minute to look around, I didn't spot Marshall anywhere, and concluded that Kendall had made it an order. Then, it was time to set the plan in motion. I glanced at a clock to see that it was 11:50; Sark wanted things to get in gear by noon. I hurried over to Kendall.

"I'd like to see my mother." He stared at me for a while, his face unreadable, and I became afraid that he would deny it.

"Fine," he eventually said.

"I'll only be ten minutes. Probably just seven." Kendall gave me a confused look.

"Right. Good to know." As he walked away, I noticed another agent staring at me. He jumped up and hurried off, and I knew that had to be Sark's inside man. I watched his disappear, and then I began the walk down to my mother's cell. Whatever happened next, I knew there was no turning back.


	15. Ch 15

As I drew nearer her cell, I could see my mother was practicing her autocircadian meditation. When I stopped in front of her glass barrier, she stood and faced me with movements as quick and graceful as a tiger. She approached the window, and I could feel her eyes drilling intensely into my own.

"No turning back," I said softly. She shook her head.

"No turning back." Suddenly, the lights all faded, and I knew the power had been shut down. It was safe to talk freely.

"What's the plan?" My mother asked. I explained it quickly, but with as much detail as possible.

"Nothing for us to do on this end?"

"No. We just wait. He originally told me that I would be the one to knock out any guards down here, but he changed that." She nodded and looked up the hall anxiously.

"The longer it takes, the less chance we have of getting out safely," she stated calmly.

"I know." Her eyes met mine, and she nodded. Just then, the sound of footsteps pounding down the hall set both of us on edge. It turned out to be one of the CIA guards, gun in hand.

"Step back, Agent Bristow. Derevko could try to take advantage of the situation." I moved away slowly, allowing him to step in front of me and train his weapon on my mother.

"What is the situation?" I questioned.

"Don't know. Power's down. Kendall thinks some foreign agency may be responsible," he said tersely, not bothering to glance at me. If he had, he may have been prepared for the blow to the back of his head that took him out. I quickly dragged him a short way down the hall, keeping him out of the way of the escape that should be happening soon. My mother nodded to me. As more footsteps sounded, I glanced over at the prone guard, aware that if it were more agents, I'd have some major trouble on my hands.

It turned out to be Sark's inside man, as well as two other people I didn't recognize. The first man glanced past me at the guard I had knocked out.

"Get to work!" he barked at his companions. They stepped up to the glass barrier, instructing my mother to stand as far back as possible. As they began to work on the glass, the other man drew my attention back to him.

"Agent Kurtz. I work with Mr. Sark."

"I'd figured as much," I said dryly, not fully prepared to trust this man. He gave me an unfriendly look, but reached back to grab a bag, which he handed to me.

"Here. Take what you want, and then let Derevko take whatever she'd prefer." I glanced through it, finding a small assortment of guns. I grabbed two and left three for my mother. At that moment, they finally broke through the glass. She stepped out for the first time in a long time. I glanced at the time.

"It's been three minutes since the power went out," I stated.

"We need to move quickly. We don't have much time." I handed her the bag of guns, and we started down the hall at a brisk clip. She discarded the empty duffel bag, tucking a small handgun into her waistline and keeping the other two in hand. As we passed under the set of gates, Sark appeared.

"Hurry," he said urgently. We picked up the pace, bursting into the main area. As soon as we did, I could feel a pair of cold eyes locked onto me. Glancing around, I saw Kendall yelling orders, pointing towards us. Barnett stood next to him, speaking to another agent. Before we got any further, a group of agents appeared and began shooting. We all quickly ducked; Agent Kurtz, who had been trailing us, didn't react in time. I jumped slightly as his body landed with a thump near my foot.

"We'll have to shoot our way out," Sark said. My mother nodded; I sighed in resignation, knowing that he spoke true.

"Ready?" 

"Let's go," I replied. Sark peered over the desk and began firing. The agents who had been shooting at us scattered quickly; none of them fell. My mother raised the guns she held in her hands, and began a rapid-fire attack. I saw a dangerous glint come into her eye, and she shifted her focus. As I looked out from my cover behind a desk, I saw Dr. Barnett fall. A shocked Kendall caught her and lowered her to the ground. Judging by the amount of blood spilling from her mouth and her chest, I knew she was gone for sure. 

I noticed two agents attempting to flank Sark and my mom; I quickly raised my gun and took each of them down with shots to the shoulders. I didn't want to kill any CIA agents if I didn't have to. Suddenly, Sark made a strangled noise, and his gun fell from his hand as he dropped behind the desk. My mother gave him a worried look, and quickly ducked over to him. He sat up slowly, and I could see where his elbow had been hit. I grimaced.

Just then, a wild burst of gunfire nearly took my mother out. I quickly looked over to see Kendall holding an automatic rifle. I raised my gun and squeezed off a single shot. I couldn't stop the vengeful smirk that crossed my face as he looked at his chest in shock before falling next to Barnett. My mother retrieved her weapons, and between the two of us, we took care of the rest of the resistance. She helped Sark up, and looked to me. 

"Let's go." We hurried out; as I passed the fallen forms of Kendall and Barnett, I nearly stopped as I swore I heard a sound Neither of them moved, so I quickly caught up with my accomplices. But as we neared the door, I caught sight of something that did cause me to stop in my tracks. My breathing became erratic as we neared the lifeless agent.

"Oh my god…" I gasped. My mother paused, and she and Sark glanced at me in worry. I fell to my knees.

"You weren't supposed to be here," I sobbed as I turned the bloody man over. 

"Sydney," my mother said softly. I ignored her, pulling him into my arms and crying full force. I tried to wipe away the blood to make his features more recognizable, but as soon as I did so, more red liquid just replaced it. I pounded on his chest in frustration.

"Sydney, we need to go, or we'll all end up dead," Sark gasped, and I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I'm so sorry Marshall," I whispered to my dead friend. "This wasn't supposed to happen." My mother grabbed my arm gently, and we rushed out. I glanced back at Marshall's dead body one last time before we got into the getaway van and prepared to face more carnage ahead.


	16. Ch 16

As we stumbled into the black van, my mother ordered me to drive. She helped Sark into the back, and looking in the rear view mirror, I could see her wrapping his elbow and giving him some kind of painkiller. I started up the vehicle and pulled away, trying to drive quickly but carefully, so as not to jar Sark's arm. I wiped away the tears that still lingered after finding Marshall, and concentrated on getting us out of there. 

I approached the final corner, and took it a bit harder than I had intended. I glanced back at Sark's small cry of pain. He was clutching his elbow, and his face was completely pale. My mother, who had climbed into the passenger seat next to me, suddenly yelled.

"Sydney!" I quickly turned back around, feeling myself begin to panic as I saw the small black government issue car that was coming straight at us. I slammed on the brakes, as did the driver of the other car, but it was too little, too late. The van plowed into the smaller car, sending us both into the street outside the JTF.

I glanced over at my mother, who gave me a look before turning and going back to Sark. She kicked out the back doors of the van, and began helping him out. I struggled with the driver's side door, and soon got it open. Hopping out, I looked back to see my mother and Sark searching for a new vehicle. Sark pointed at a pickup truck parked just down the street, and my mother nodded, motioning for me to follow. I clambered over the wrecked hood of the car I'd hit, glancing quickly into it as I did so. That brief glance brought back the tears I had shed for Marshall, to an even stronger degree. 

I leaped off of the car and ran to the banged up driver's door. It took just a few seconds to yank it open, and I reached in and moved the airbag and shattered glass.

"Sydney!" My mother yelled. I ignored her as I continued trying to save the driver.

"We don't have time for this Sydney! We're sitting ducks out here, especially with Sark injured. We need to move… now." I finally acknowledged her with a cold stare.

"I've lost too many people already! I can't let him die too," I sobbed. Her features instantly changed into a look of sorrow and sympathy. She came over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Sydney, I'm so sorry. I know it hurts. But if we don't get out of here, all of us will die as well." She pulled away and looked over my shoulder at the destroyed car. Her face softened even more, and looking into her eyes, I knew why. I quickly turned back around.

"Syd…" he gasped, having difficulty breathing.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He looked into my eyes, and then at my mother standing behind me. A look of hurt- emotional hurt, not physical- crossed his face.

"You… her… why?"

"Because I have to get them back. I'd be better off dead if I have to live without them." He shut his eyes and took a shaky breath. In vain, I wiped some blood away, and then reached in to hug him.

"I'm sorry. I tried to get you out… I never wanted this to happen." He coughed, an action producing even more blood, before nodding weakly.

"I know… good luck Syd."

"I'm so sor… no, hold on, please hold on… you can't die on me! Don't go, don't go…" I urged. But as he gasped for breath, blood running down his face and body, I knew I had killed someone else I cared about.

"Oh god… Weiss! Eric, please, wake up... wake up!" My mother gently grabbed me, and led me over to the truck that Sark was waiting in. As sobs racked my body again, she put me in the front seat, and then she got behind the wheel. I turned to look out at Weiss' body, and put one bloody hand on the mirror. I stared after him as my mother squealed away from the curb. Sark was fairly silent in the back, until finally, he spoke.

"Sydney, I apologize."

"For what?" I sobbed bitterly.

"Everything that's happened today."

"Why? It's not your fault. I killed Weiss. And no one can tell me it wasn't my fault- I ran into him and killed him, Sark. I was probably the one that killed Marshall as well." I could feel my mothers eyes on me.

"Sydney, it is not your fault."

"Don't tell me that Mom. I have killed everyone I care about." Suddenly, a thought struck me. "What if I kill Vaughn… and Dad? What if I kill them too?" My mother alternated between flying through the streets and glaring at me.

"Sydney, you were not responsible for all of those deaths. And Weiss… that was an accident, Sydney, an accident! You will not kill your father or Vaughn. It won't happen." I clamped my jaw shut and simply stared at my bloody hands. I knew the truth. I knew I had killed each one of those people, whether or not it had been my hands that caused their deaths.


	17. Ch 17

In little under an hour, we arrived at a small, private airport near Burbank. Sark had fallen into a light sleep in the back of the truck, presumably from something my mother gave him. As she hopped out and rushed to awaken Sark and help him to the waiting jet, I numbly opened my door and stepped out. I stared up at the jet for a long moment, until my mother called to me for help. I turned and looked at her, and she stared deep into my eyes for the first time. I noticed a change cross her features, but I didn't concern myself with figuring it out. Trying to repress the images of Weiss that were still fresh in my memory, I helped Sark out. 

We all ran to the plane, where a stony faced pilot greeted us with a brisk nod.

"Where to, Miss Derevko?" she glanced at me briefly, but I barely noticed. She sighed, and turned back to him.

"Norway," she blurted.

"Anywhere in particular?"

"I don't care, just get us out of here." The pilot turned on his heel, and my mother faced Sark and myself again.

"I have a place in Norway, we can recuperate and formulate our plans for Sloane." Without replying, I wandered to a window seat and settled in. I vaguely recall watching as my mother tended more thoroughly to Sark's wound, and they got comfortable. I saw Sark fall asleep, and I watched endless miles of sky pass us by. I must have fallen asleep as well; the next thing I knew, we were landing in Norway.

Sark and my mother were talking quietly, but they fell silent as the pilot reappeared.

"We have landed near Trondheim," he reported.

"Thank you," Sark said curtly. The pilot nodded and took his leave.

"What now?" I asked quietly. They seemed surprised to find me awake.

"How are you doing Sydney?" my mother asked.

"What now?" I repeated. 

"We make a trip to Alesund. Irina has a compound there. We'll rest a few days, I'll have my arm taken care, everyone will… settle down, and then we'll take care of Sloane," Sark informed me, sounding much more like his normal self than he had earlier.

"Fine. Shall we?" I asked, indicating the door. Sark led the way, and we were soon headed to Alesund. During the trip, I fell back into dark thoughts. I still couldn't shake the fear that I would be responsible for the death of everyone else I cared about. As that idea crossed my mind again, I looked towards my mother. She was engaged in a deep conversation with Sark. I could see the wheels turning behind her dark eyes. As I watched her, a brief sense of safety washed over me. For one short moment, it seemed like somehow, she could make things better. But then a look of miniscule confusion crossed her features, quickly replaced by understanding. But that one moment's uncertainty was enough to erase my faith.

Not wanting the foundation of my sanity to be shaken anymore, I turned to blindly watch the scenery fly by outside. I tuned out the conversation in the front seat, and just focused my attention inward. The loss of Francie, Will, Marshall, and Weiss still reverberated through my soul, and the knowledge that I was responsible for the deaths of Dixon and Diane weighed heavily on my conscience. Without apology, my mind turned to Barnett and Kendall. Something about that still bothered me, but not in the same way. Something about them just didn't feel right.

I brushed all thoughts aside as the car came to a stop. Focusing my gaze on our surroundings, all I could see was trees. Many many trees.

"Is this compound a treehouse?" I said dryly. I could see a grin tugging at my mothers' lips, but she repressed it.

"Of course not. The trees are just necessary as a suitable cover for the actual buildings," Sark said.

"Naturally," I replied. My mother drove slowly down a small dirt road, through the darkness of the canopy, and came into a large clearing a minute later. I looked around, and easily sighted two buildings. Neither building was tall, but they were both very spacious. Sark got out of the car and walked towards one, while my mother and I went to the other.

"He'll join us again in a few minutes. He's getting his elbow taken care of. It's not as bad as it looks, I don't think, so we won't have to delay as long as we thought," she said. I nodded.

"Good," was all I thought to say. We each sat down on a luxurious black leather couch, waiting for Sark to come back. He walked in ten minutes later, with his elbow bandaged and a scowl on his face.

"You were correct, Irina. It's not as bad as it looked. In fact, the bullet seems to have passed through without even touching the bone."

"So there is no need to delay?"

"We can move ahead as planned." He sat down with us, bringing a map with him. Spreading the map on the table, my mother studied it with a critical eye.

"As you know, Sloane is in Greece- on the island of Crete, to be specific. It shouldn't be too hard to find him, as we have no reason to believe he's moved in the time since he took them hostage."

"Why would he stay there? We know he's there, there's no way he could…" I trailed off as the realization hit me. I looked up and my mother nodded.

"Unless he's toying with you," she finished. My eyes shut almost involuntarily.

"Bastard," I breathed.

"We don't need to risk a large strike; we'll take only ten men as backup. Otherwise, we may be too easily detected. I've been inside this base of operations, so I know all the security measures. We won't have a problem getting in."

"How can you be sure he hasn't changed anything since you left?"

"I told him I was going undercover in Ireland for two weeks to secure some potential Rambaldi artifacts. I used the magic word… he didn't question it at all." I nodded in satisfaction.

"Fine. When do we move?" My mother and Sark exchanged glances. He nodded to he, and she turned back to me.

"We leave for Greece tonight."


	18. Ch 18

A few hours later, my mother and I had finished packing and making other last minute decisions. We were all ready to catch the plane and hit Greece, when Sark came into the room, practically running.

"Change of plans," he gasped.

"What?" my mother asked.

"He's moved." I felt anger rising within me, as if I thought it absurd that Sloane would have to audacity to move.

"Do we know where?" I demanded.

"Barbados," Sark replied.

"Barbados? Where at?"

"An area known as Holetown."

"Fitting," I grumbled.

"Wait… Sark, where are you getting this information?" my mothers eyes held a dangerously dubious glint. Sark obviously noticed this as well; he shifted slightly, but maintained eye contact.

"Before I left, I planted a bug, as well as paying someone to keep me informed. Both of these things have confirmed what I have just told you." My mother nodded slowly, but I could still see suspicion clouding her eyes. I hadn't seen this kind of tension between them before, though I had to admit I hadn't seen much interaction at all.

"Fine… Barbados. That's just northeast of Venezuela, correct?" Sark nodded and my mother rubbed her temples, looking concerned.

"This changes everything," she noted, her accent catching on the last word.

"We can still move tonight," Sark stated confidently.

"I know we can, but now we have to learn a whole new set of data on this. New compound, new territory, it's in a whole new hemisphere Sark!"

"I understand that, but by the same token, we don't have the time to delay for a few hours in order to learn it all. We'll have to make do with what time we can get on the plane, and carry on as scheduled." For my part, I essentially watched the interplay between them in fascination. It couldn't really be called an argument, nor even a disagreement. In fact, it almost seemed like a game at some points. Finally, my mother turned to face me.

"Barbados it is," she said. Our gear was loaded onto the jet, along with the ten men who were going with us for backup, and half an hour later, we were in the air. On the way, we all looked over the various pieces of information Sark had gathered from his source.

"Small island," I noted, seeing that it was not even three times the size of Washington DC. Sark nodded.

"Holetown is also quite small. As you can see, we don't have any exact measurements, but it shouldn't take us too long to locate him." We lapsed into another bout of silence, which lasted until Sark's pilot began speaking.

"Approaching Barbados now sir."

"Very well. The geographic coordinates are 13 10 N, 59 32 W. That will put us near Holetown, but not near enough to draw any unwanted attention. Land there." The pilot nodded in response and began preparing for landing.

"Ready?" my mother asked. I assured her I was, though a deep feeling of uncertainty continued to gnaw at me. She stood and walked past me, her hand briefly touching my shoulder. It was a comforting gesture, and something I quickly latched onto. I knew I would need it in the coming hours.

Twenty minutes later, the plane had landed, and we were going over our final plans.

"It's safe to assume our advantageous element of surprise has been lost now, as well as my knowledge of the compound- I have never been inside of this one. Prior to today, I didn't know it existed. That shouldn't be a major problem, but it certainly doesn't help." My mother picked up from there.

"We've all looked over the details we have of this compound. Our knowledge is sufficient enough to make this work, but we must exercise the utmost caution. If, as we suspect, Sloane does indeed know we're coming, he certainly won't make this easy on us."

"I wouldn't expect him to," I said. Sark had moved over to talk with the backups. My mother knelt in front of me and stared at me intently.

"Are you sure you can handle this? That you want to do this?"

"Yes, I can handle it. And it's not something I want to do; it's something I have to do, something I need to do. Without them, I can't survive, even if I have you." I had come to accept the fact that, no matter what, neither of us could ever go back to the CIA. 

Not after what it had taken to get her out of there. She would surely be executed, and I would likely end up in federal prison… that is, if I didn't share her fate. I didn't know what that would mean for Vaughn and my father… I didn't know if they could forgive what I had done, even if it was for them. To be honest, I didn't know much of anything, except that we had to get them back, by any means necessary.


	19. Ch 19

I had come to accept the fact that, no matter what, neither of us could ever go back to the CIA. Not after what it had taken to get her out of there. She would surely be executed, and I would likely end up in federal prison… that is, if I didn't share her fate. I didn't know what that would mean for Vaughn and my father… I didn't know if they could forgive what I had done, even if it was for them. To be honest, I didn't know much of anything, except that we had to get them back, by any means necessary.

A short time later, we were on the outskirts of Holetown, with Sark studying a sheet of paper in an effort to determine the exact location of Sloane's compound. My mother was watching him closely, and I was keeping an eye on the small town, looking for any signs of movement in the darkness. After a few moments, my mother turned to face me, and motioned for our group to begin moving.

"We believe we've pinpointed his location. We must stay quiet and move quickly, and when we get there… shoot to kill." Sark took the lead, and we all fell into line behind him, with our backups bringing up the rear. We moved in relative silence for the next twelve minutes, until Sark finally turned around to face us.

"It should be just off to the right up ahead. Have your weapons ready- we need to go in prepared." He did an about-face and continued to lead the way. I checked to be sure my guns were loaded and ready, and kept one of them in my right hand.

When Sloane's compound came into sight, I was taken by surprise. It wasn't a sprawling, heavily guarded, fenced in mansion, as I had somewhat expected. It was a fairly simple two story house, no armed guards or towers in sight. My mother glanced to Sark, who was studying the building with a critical eye. Finally, he nodded.

"This is it."

"This?" I questioned, not quite ready to buy into it.

"I know it doesn't look like much, but that's the whole idea." I looked at the house again, and noticed something odd. Much of the landscape we had passed through was spotted with stands of large trees; this area was bare, save for a few smaller ones… none that would have roots that might need to reach deep into the ground. I turned to Sark and my mother as realization dawned.

"Underground." Sark merely nodded.

"I doubt it will be easy to get down there, and once we do, I have no idea how large the complex will turn out to be. It may well take us hours to find them."

"In that case, we'd better start looking," I said.

"Irina?" She lifted her sniper rifle and carefully scanned the windows of the building, squeezing off two shots in the process.

        "Only 2 guards?" Sark asked, sounding surprised.

        "I didn't see any others." Sark looked concerned, but nodded. He again took the lead, and we quickly approached the house.

        "Where the hell's the door?" I demanded after we had circled the building and found no entrance. 

        "There." My mother pointed to a steel staircase, partially hidden in the darkness. At the top of it was a wooden door. I pushed past Sark and started up the steps, my mother right behind me. I was expecting to have to blow through the door in order to get in, and was therefore shocked when it creaked open as I touched it. I glanced over nervously, and found my mother to be looking as paranoid as I felt. We entered cautiously, and found a long hallway going both ways. I turned around again.

        "We don't have time… we have to split up," I began, expecting her to argue with me. Instead, she nodded in agreement.

        "Sydney, Sark, take those five men and go that way. The rest of you, come with me." I looked at Sark, and he also seemed mildly surprised.

        "Let's go," he stated, going ahead of me. I watched my mother lead her group away, and then I quickly caught up with Sark. He held an assault rifle, and also carried two guns holstered on his hips. The rifle was held cautiously at the ready, and he almost seemed eager to use it. We passed by the windows my mother had shot out, as well as the bodies of the two guards she had gotten rid of. The hallway stopped shortly, and closer inspection revealed a trap door leading to a ladder.

        "Cover me," I stated, beginning my descent. I dropped to the floor, and quickly looked around, searching for any signs of trouble.

        "Clear," I said cautiously. Sark climbed down quickly, followed by our men.

        "There's something very off about this," Sark said slowly.

        "No resistance, aside from those two guards. He has to have some kind of trap waiting." Sark nodded in agreement.

        "Irina will have figured that out as well by now, we don't need to worry about her. I just wish we had some indication of what that trap might be." I heard the hesitation in his voice, and looked at him sharply.

        "There is no turning back," I said quietly. He stared at me for a long moment.

        "I know." We then began searching, and found the only door leading out of the room.

        "I guess this is it," I mumbled. Sark pulled it open, and we found another, larger room, also bathed in darkness. The lone window in the room had been boarded up so tightly that not even a hint of moonlight could peer through. I clicked on my flashlight and began searching for another door.

        "I don't understand what's going on here," I told Sark as I crossed the room. Suddenly, a large spotlight came on, temporarily blinding me and causing me to drop my flashlight. Sark and I raised our guns, trying to get some idea of who else was in the room. The answer came in the form of a voice I had never again expected to hear.

        "Let me tell you what's going on here, Agent Bristow: you are under arrest for so many crimes, I don't even know where to begin listing them." Sark and I exchanged shocked looks.

        "Kendall?"


	20. Ch 20

Hey everyone… remember this here fic? :whistle: Yes, I know it's been a while since I updated… but it actually gets even better. Would you believe I had half of this chapter typed… but just never finished and posted? Special…

**Last chapter…**

_"Let me tell you what's going on here, Agent Bristow: you are under arrest for so many crimes, I don't even know where to begin listing them." Sark and I exchanged shocked looks._

_        "Kendall?"   
~~~~~~~_

        "Thought you'd gotten rid of me, didn't you Bristow?" Kendall asked angrily.

        "I didn't _want_ anyone to get hurt," I shot back.

        "Yeah, that's what everyone says when they storm through the Joint Task Forces office with guns blazing."

        "How the hell did you survive?" I demanded, straining to see him through the blinding floodlight.

        "You only hit me once." I thought back to that day, what I'd seen.

        "But… there was so much blood…" I trailed off, not sure what to think.

        "Yeah? Most of that was from when you blew Dr. Barnett's heart straight out of her chest." I felt my stomach twist violently, but struggled to rein it in. Kendall continued talking, each word serving to further increase the knots I felt.

        "I hope you're proud of yourself, Bristow. Do you know how many agents died that day? I'll tell you- 27. Including Marshall Flinkman. You do remember him, don't you? Or have you just wiped people like him out of your memory in favor of people like Mr. Sark here?"

        "You bastard," I whispered. He laughed humorlessly.

        "Oh, it gets better. CIA Director Devlin… do you remember him?"

        "Of course I do," I retorted.

        "That's good… he died that day too." I gasped.

        "He… he was at the JTF?"

        "Oh, no… no, he died of a stress induced heart attack just a few hours later." I felt about ready to collapse, until Sark's steadying hand made its way to my lower back. Kendall finally shut off the floodlight, turning on the regular lights in the room.

        "And now, _former_ Agent Bristow, we're going back to America… and you'll be the next one to die." I was surprised to realize that he didn't look at all happy with this turn of events, but was resigned to see it through. He motioned for one of his agents to cuff Sark and myself both, as well as our backups. Before they got near enough to do that, the door behind me flew open.

        "That's not how this is going to end, Agent Kendall." With those words, my mother opened fire. Sark and I ducked, grabbing the guns we had dropped earlier before rolling out of the way. Kendall and his men put up a fight, but the element of surprise was on our side, and the fight was over minutes later. I made my way over to Kendall and checked for a pulse.

        I found none.

        Standing up, I observed the carnage in the room. All of Kendall's men were dead, as were quite a few of our own backups. We had entered with ten; we were down to three.

        "What now?" I asked, trying not to notice all of the blood that was spattered about.

        "My way was a dead end. We continue this way." At her signal, Sark took the lead as we left the bloodbath behind.

        "I don't understand… how did Kendall get here? How did he know we'd be here?"

        "There's only one possible answer," my mother replied. I nodded, knowing that was what she'd say.

        "Sloane." Sark glanced back at us.

        "You think Sloane tipped him off?" he questioned.

        "It's the only logical explanation I can come up with," my mother replied.

        "But isn't Sloane on the shoot to kill watch list?"

        "Yeah, but if he struck some kind of deal with Kendall, that'd be negated," I said.

        "And is- excuse me, was- Kendall stupid enough to believe that Mr. Sloane would allow himself to be taken?" Before either of us could reply, a brief, loud noise sounded on the other side of the wall to our right. We all stopped walking immediately.

        "There must be a door around here somewhere…" I said.

        "Lets find it," Sark stated, moving down the hallway again. After a lengthy search, I discovered a rectangular outline, but no visible way of getting through it.

        "It's over here… there must be a lever or something somewhere…" I called quietly. My mother began pressing on spots around the door, and after a few failed attempts, it suddenly sprang open. We all jumped back, exchanging nervous glances. Sark clicked his flashlight on and entered the newly uncovered room. I followed suit, gun in hand, only to discover yet another empty room.

        "Should be one more floor to go," Sark announced after quick calculations. My mother nodded her agreement.

        "We've only descended one level thus far, and we entered on the 2nd floor. Judging by how this looked from the outside, and what we've seen inside to this point, there should be one more way down, and then we'll be within the true complex."

        "Then we'd better find the next ladder or elevator or whatever we're looking for," I said decisively.

        "It's most likely somewhere within this room," Sark noted. My eyes were drawn to a pile of boxes in the corner, and one glance at my mother confirmed my guess. As a group, we all crossed the room and shoved the boxes aside, revealing another trap door. I quickly yanked it open to reveal a staircase, which I started to descend until my mother grabbed my arm, a concerned look on her face.

        "It's all… too perfect," she said slowly.

        "Too perfect?" Sark repeated dubiously.

        "Yes… very little resistance, hidden doors that aren't that difficult to figure out, no surveillance equipment… if this isn't the most obvious set-up I've ever seen, I don't know what it," I answered.

        "This is the only option," my mother stated. I nodded quickly.

        "Of course it is. So long as he has them, nothing else matters." My mother turned her attention to Sark.

        "You have no personal stake in the matter," she pointed out. He acknowledged the veracity of that statement with a brief nod.

        "I suppose this is true, technically. However, I am and always have been loyal to you, Irina. So long as you have reason to be here, I do as well."

        "I do not want you killed on my behalf," she said quietly.

        "That's not your decision to make," he replied.

        "Don't be blinded by misguided loyalty," my mother warned.

        "I see two possible outcomes here: I either leave this building with you, as well as your husband and Agent Vaughn once we've recovered them; or I die here. This can't go any other way, Irina." I felt as though I was intruding upon a very private conversation, but I had no way to remove myself from it. After a moment, Sark looked towards me.

        "Shall we?" I led the way down the staircase, which turned into a long, dark hallway. There were two doors, one on either side of us.

        "Which one?" I questioned. Sark headed for the one on the right, so my mother and I went into the other one, leaving our three remaining backups to guard the hall. The room was empty, and showed no signs that it had recently been occupied by anything.

        "I don't like this," I muttered as we walked back out into the hallway.

        "I know, sweetheart… neither do I." Before I could reply, Sark poked his head out of the other room, his eyes intense and his voice heavy as he spoke.

        "Sydney, Irina… I think you'll want to come see this."


	21. Ch 21

_Sark poked his head out of the other room, his eyes intense and his voice heavy as he spoke._

_"Sydney, Irina… I think you'll want to come see this."_

My mother and I exchanged worried glances before hurrying down the hall to where Sark stood. He gave me a precautionary look before pushing open the door to the room he had investigated. I quickly passed by him, but stopped in my tracks as I saw what had drawn his reaction.

"Oh, Sydney…" my mother breathed softly. I shrugged off her hand and slowly moved further into the room, quietly kneeling next to the motionless body. Sark silently left the room, shutting the door behind him. I continued staring at my lifeless partner, finding myself unable to cry despite the pain.

"Why am I so shocked?" I whispered. "I knew he was… I knew."

"There's a difference between knowing and seeing, Sydney," my mother said softly, gently touching my hair. I reached out and took hold of his hand, but quickly recoiled. The kindness and warmth I had always known was replaced by a cold stiffness which I knew, logically, should have been expected. But still, it shocked me.

"I'm so, so sorry…" I paused, searching for the words I needed. "I will have revenge. He won't get away with what he's done… to you, to me, and to everyone else. I promise you he will pay, even if it kills me."  Taking a deep breath, I resolutely stood and faced my mother, who gave me a sympathetic look. I shook off her attempted comfort.

"Not now," I said brusquely.

"Sydney, you can't repress your grief like this."

"Right now, yes I can, because if I don't, I'll be grieving for Dad and Vaughn next." I resisted the urge to turn back to Dixon, knowing that my strong front would crumble if I did. Instead, I purposefully strode past my mother and out into the hallway, where Sark was on alert.

"Are you all right?" he questioned.

"Which way?" He gave me a look of concern, but indicated the left side of the hall. 

"This way… the other path is a dead end." I flinched at his choice of words, though he didn't seem to notice.

"Fine. Let's go." I once again took the lead, Sark directly behind me, the backup agents trailing after him, and my mother bringing up the rear. After a few minutes of walking in silence, we came to another split in the hallway. One option was to continue straight; the other branched off to the right. I hesitated, taking a step to the right before pausing again and looking the other way. Flooded with uncertainty, I turned to face my mother, searching for guidance.

"We have neither the time nor manpower to split up at this point," she stated.

"I agree, we don't quite have the manpower… but we don't have time to waste exploring each path either," I argued.

"Splitting up right now may be precisely what he wants us to do," she noted.

"Or he could be banking on us all going down one way, therefore wasting precious time that we don't have to waste."

"We can't very well stand here debating this," my mother pointed out sensibly.

"No, we can't… so what do we do?" Only then did I notice that Sark was no longer standing behind me. I looked around frantically, gripped by sudden fear. "Where'd he go?"

"While you two… discussed the options, I took it upon myself to inspect this direction," he answered as he reappeared from the shadows of the right wing. "There's only one room down there, a security room from the looks of it, but all of surveillance equipment contained within is no longer in working condition," he reported. I sighed in relief at his safe return, and noticed that my mother had also been worried. I glanced back to Sark, giving him a grateful nod.

"Thank you. Well, since that's settled…" I turned and continued down the hallway, knowing that my allies would fall in line with me.

"What's the plan when we find them?" Sark asked a short time later. I silently sent him thanks for saying when, rather than if.

"There is no plan," my mother said. "We have no idea what to expect between now and when we locate them, so there's no way of preparing for whatever may be to come." One fleeting look at Sark's face was enough to tell me that he didn't like the idea, but he didn't protest it verbally.

An eerie, offsetting silence descended upon the hallway, instilling a new form of paranoia in all of us. It had been quiet before, but at that point one could easily hear a pin drop. I slowed down, looking back nervously. Sark and my mother were both on edge as well, and I was glad I wasn't the only one. Suddenly, Sark seemed to see something ahead of us. I whirled around, trying to catch whatever it might have been, but saw nothing. I turned back to him curiously.

"I saw… a light, a small one, up ahead," he informed me.

"Are you sure?" my mother asked cautiously.

"Yes. I take it neither of you saw it?" I shook my head; my mother said nothing, merely looking beyond me as if expecting the light to appear again.

"Any idea what the source may have been?" she questioned.

"It was small, as I said, so perhaps a flashlight?" he suggested. My mother nodded and faced me again.

"Sydney, please, be careful," she said worriedly as we again moved forward.

"Dying's not part of the plan, Mom," I replied tersely.

"Many things have happened of late that weren't part of any of your plans, I imagine," Sark noted. I shot him a glare, but didn't reply. There was no further sign of the light he had spotted, but we soon came to a closed door with a small window towards the top. Standing on my toes, I attempted to peer through it, but was unsuccessful. I sighed in defeat.

"What now? Do we just bust it down?" Sark glanced to my mother, allowing her to field the question.

"Are we absolutely sure we didn't miss anything else on the way over here?" she asked. "No hidden doors or hallways… nothing?"

"I don't believe we can truly be 100% certain of that, Irina, but I'm fairly sure we noticed everything there was to notice."

"I agree," I stated, internally noting how ridiculously absurd it was for me to agree with anything said by Mr. Sark.

"Which leaves this as our only possibly recourse," he concluded. I cautiously tried pushing the door, and was more than a little surprised as it swung open with ease. 

The interior was dark, and I couldn't see anything or anyone… but I felt it. Looking around cautiously, I tried to locate whoever else was in the room. I spotted another door across the way, but no sign of anyone else in there.

"I don't see anything…" I whispered uncertainly.

"Hardly surprising, considering how dark it is," Sark replied in the same tone. Before I could speak again, there was a slight movement from within which drew both of our attention. Moments later, a mocking voice echoed off the walls.

"Sydney, Sark... and Irina. What took so long? We've been expecting you."


	22. Ch 22

__

"Sydney, Sark... and Irina. What took so long? We've been expecting you."

I froze as the familiar voice rang through the room. There he was, finally, the monster we'd be hunting for. The search had ended at last, but somehow I knew that things were nowhere near over. I strained my eyes, trying to determine his exact position, but it was a worthless endeavor. My next effort was turned to searching for any sign of Vaughn or my father, but that was also in vain.

"What do we do?" I whispered over my shoulder, expecting an answer from my mother. Instead, Sloane fielded the question.

"I'll tell you what you'll do: all three of you will enter the room slowly, drop your guns, and kick them away. Any deviation from this will result in a hail of bullets from the many guards stationed around this room." The deadly words were uttered in a friendly tone that served to emphasize the danger of the situation. I glanced back to my mother, who gave a reluctant nod. I moved into the room, released my guns, and angrily kicked them in Sloane's general direction. Sark and my mother exercised more restraint as they surrendered their weapons. I knew they each had to have some smaller guns still concealed somewhere, but that would never be enough to challenge Sloane's forces.

I briefly entertained the hope that he was unaware of our three agents still standing just outside the door, but that was crushed as he called for them to come in and turn over their weapons as well. Once that had been done, there was a brief shuffling noise, and then the lights in the room unexpectedly came on. I blinked, adjusting to the sudden brightness, and instantly caught sight of Sloane. He was casually leaning against a wall, one hand on the light switch, and the other holding the gun that had been in my possession just moments ago. There was a brief stare down, and a series of shots was suddenly fired. 

My mother, Sark, and myself were the only ones left standing on our side, as the three men with us had all fallen. I glanced to Sloane, who shrugged mildly. He then looked down at the gun, and after a quick calculation, I realized there was one shot left. That didn't mean much; he still had the pile of weapons at his feet, and he was sure to have at least one more on him. But I hoped that if he perhaps felt the need to switch guns, it could give us the window of opportunity we needed to take him out. Before I could even complete the thought, the last bullet was expended, ending up lodged in Sark's left leg. He collapsed to the floor, and my mother moved to his side quickly.

"Insurance," Sloane stated mildly. "See, what I gather is that Irina won't leave Sark behind, and Sydney surely wouldn't abandon her mother, even if Irina did leave her all those years ago." That comment earned glares from both my mother and myself, to which Sloane only smirked. It was then that something else occurred to me, and I finally took a careful look around. I could only groan in frustration as I realized that there wasn't a single other person in the room, much less a cadre of guards.

"It's always nice to have the upper hand," Sloane commented.

"Of course it is," I replied dryly. He merely smiled again before indicating the door across from the one we had just came through.

"If you three would be so kind as to exit stage left…" I shot him another glare before taking the lead and walking through the door. My mother, supporting Sark, followed me, and Sloane stayed a safe distance back, gun trained on us. I could hear them whispering in what sounded like Russian, but I couldn't make it out positively. Sark groaned in pain, and as I turned back to see how he was doing, he collapsed again. My mother was next to him instantly, and I also moved to his side. Sark continued groaning, but he briefly made eye contact with me, and I realized it was some kind of ploy. Sloane was obviously suspicious as well; he came no closer, and kept his gun firmly aimed at us. My mother suddenly gasped, and I looked at her worriedly.

"He's dying," she said, quietly at first, then louder. "He's dying, you have to do something!" she shouted, facing Sloane. He gave her a dubious look.

"And why should the fate of young Mr. Sark concern me in the least? He is, after all, working against me, as he has been all along." I looked at Sark carefully, not understanding how a gunshot to the leg could kill him, unless it had managed to hit a vein. But he hadn't lost all that much blood either, which convinced me that this was another part of my mother's plan. I decided to make myself useful, silently hoping that I wouldn't prove to be more of a hindrance.

"Sark? No, please, don't give up! You can't die too!" My outburst had the desired impact, as Sloane's attention was momentarily diverted to me. The opening was all my mother needed to spring a surprise attack. In seconds, she had Sloane pinned against the wall, a gun to his head. I helped Sark to his feet and we walked over to stand beside them. To my surprise, Sloane didn't look at all worried; contrary, he had a superior smirk firmly in place.

"I still have the upper hand," he said smugly.

"You're the one with a bullet just inches from your brain," I pointed out. His eyes shifted to focus on me.

"Yes Sydney, that may be true, but if Irina pulls that trigger, what makes you think you'll have any chance of finding Jack and Agent Vaughn, much less getting out of here alive?" That was enough to stop us from making any rash decisions; it was also enough for Sloane to capitalize on a moment's hesitance and break away from my mother. He ran, briefly turning back to fire a few errant shots to deter us from pursuing him. When it was safe to move again, he had vanished.

"What now?" I whispered.

"Now, we follow him, find your father and Vaughn, and get rid of Sloane once and for all," my mother stated calmly. She then turned her attention to Sark. "Are you all right?" He nodded weakly, though didn't seem anxious to relinquish the support I still offered.

"Let's keep moving."

"Wait." My mother disappeared for a moment, reappearing with most of the weapons we had been forced to drop. She distributed them before taking the lead. We soon stumbled upon four doors, two on either side of the hall. Sark moved to investigate one, but I stopped him. 

"Stay out here, rest. We can handle this."

"I'd like to help," he replied through gritted teeth.

"I know, but you'll be helpless if you hurt yourself worse. Wait here, save your strength… we're going to need it." He nodded, realizing the truth of my words, and leaned against the wall, relaxing but simultaneously on alert.

I tentatively tested the first door, and found it stuck. After a struggle, I forced it open and went in. The room was dark, but completely bare. I inspected it closer all the same. Once I was satisfied that it was indeed empty, I walked out and shut the door behind me. I saw my mother had still not managed to open her first door, but adamantly refused to allow Sark to assist her.

"Can I help you?" I asked quietly. She glanced at me briefly before resuming her efforts.

"Finish checking the other two rooms first. If you find nothing, you can help with this." I nodded and moved on to my second room. That door fell open easily, but the room contained only a pile of crates and some broken glass. I opened each crate, finding them all empty. As I shut that door, I saw my mother finally manage to break through and enter the room. Sark stood back, watching her make her way in.

"It was blocked by something," he explained to me. I nodded my understanding and turned to the last room. That door also presented no problem. I had just taken my first steps into what appeared to be another worthless room when I was stopped in my tracks. The sound of my mother's scream reverberating from the next room over made my blood run cold and my heart stop. In my haste to get to her side, I tripped over a rolled up rope sitting on the floor. Blood instantly flooded into my mouth, but I spit it out and hoisted myself up, rushing to the other room.

The first thing I saw was Sark sitting on the floor, holding his head. Then I saw my mother, crumpled on the ground, sobbing. I felt my own face contort as I saw, next to her, a body I recognized all too well. I couldn't hold back the tears as I forced out the word.

"Dad?"


	23. Ch 23

****

Chapter 23

"Dad?"

My stomach twisted violently and I felt my knees beginning to give way. My mother continued sobbing quietly, her head on my father's motionless chest, and Sark looked up at me sympathetically.

"I'm sorry," he said gently, sincerely. I ignored him, forcing myself to take a step towards my parents. Sark's hand on my knee stopped my progress. I shot him a glare, but he moved as quickly as he could to get himself off the floor and up to my level.

"There's something you should know," he said quietly. He glanced at my mother, then motioned for me to step outside. I did so reluctantly.

"What is it? What's so important that you won't let me-" Sark cut me off before I could get too hysterical.

"He wasn't dead. Not when we first went in." I froze, forcing back the tears that had been flowing since I first spotted his body.

"What?" I whispered.

"When Irina opened the door, your father was still alive- purely by his own willpower, I imagine. He held on long enough to say something to her, and then…" Sark's voice trailed off, and I kept my eyes trained on the ground.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I went back into the room. He nodded, slowly leaning against the wall to rest his leg, but still remaining alert. Hesitantly, I knelt on the ground next to my mother, who hadn't moved while I was out of the room. My eyes wandered up to my fathers face, which looked very nearly peaceful. If Sloane had tortured him at all, there were no blatant physical signs of it.

__

You'll never talk to him again, never argue with him again, never hug him again. This is really the end. The thought forced its way into my mind, and I choked back another sob, causing my mother to sit up and face me. We shared an equal look of anguish before she leaned into my arms. Sark respectfully kept his distance, staying on guard just outside the room as my mother and I grieved our shared loss together.

Before long, Sark silently reentered the room, obviously not wanting to intrude. Clearing his throat, he spoke hesitantly.

"I apologize if I seem… unfeeling, but we've got to catch Sloane while we still can."

"No… you're right. Let's go," my mother agreed quietly. We both stood shakily, but while I dried my tears and headed for the door, my mother surprised us by leaning over and beginning to lift my fathers body. Sark and I exchanged worried looks.

"Mom?" I questioned uncertainly.

"We cannot just… leave him here," she replied, sounding desperate. Sark stepped forth as the voice of reason.

"Irina, our mobility is already severely limited by my injury. I understand your need to do this, but right now, it would only endanger us all." Realizing that she was about to protest, he carried on quickly. "We'll come back here after we've eliminated Sloane. Agent Vaughn might still have a chance; we can't squander that." She looked down at my fathers face, nodding slowly.

"We're not leaving here without him."

"We won't," Sark promised. My mother reached for my hand as we exited the room, neither of us able to look back. We continued moving down the hall, weapons at the ready. Sark still leaned heavily on my mother, who had pushed away her anguish, hiding it under a mask of cold determination.

"If my calculations are correct, there can't be much room left for him to run," Sark noted.

"What are those calculations based on?" I questioned.

"The landscape we saw outside, and the structure we've seen since we came in. Obviously, that's not very definite, but I've no reason to believe otherwise." I didn't reply, merely nodded, and a short time later, Sark's theory seemed to be proven correct as we came to the end of that hall and found ourselves faced with yet another door. It was slightly ajar; I reached for it hesitantly, but then pulled back, looking at my companions uncertainly as I recalled what had been discovered by opening other doors.

"Do it," my mother whispered.

"I'm afraid to," I admitted, and her hard demeanor softened slightly.

"I know, sweetheart." She hesitated briefly, looking away in deep though, before her eyes met mine again. "I am too." The confession took my breath away, but I had no time to dwell on it.

A slight clanging noise echoed from behind the door, instantly putting all three of us even more on alert. With my mother urging me forward, I kicked the door open and stormed in, prepared to fire at anything that moved.

There was nothing. Anxiously, I whirled to face my mother.

"I don't understand… we heard him! He has to be in here!"

"There!" Sark called suddenly, eyes focused upward. I immediately spotted Sloane attempting, without success, to open a door that would obviously allow him to escape. Then I realized what had made the noise that drew us in- a rusted metal ladder was on the ground. It had obviously been connected to the small landing Sloane currently occupied; he'd evidently shoved it off once he got up it.

Sloane had, of course, noticed our presence by that point; as I ran for the ladder, he withdrew a gun from his jacket and squeezed off a shot. Sark and my mother returned fire, causing him to duck back into the shadows by the door as they also took refuge. I quickly propped the ladder against the wall and climbed up cautiously. Just as I got to eye level with the landing, I saw Sloane finally force the door open. Looking through it, I could see there was another ladder leading upwards, which he quickly grabbed hold of. I reached for my gun, but before I could take a shot, he'd started climbing up. I hoisted myself up the rest of the way, and took a second to yell down to my mother and Sark.

"Another ladder, he's going up!" Within seconds, my mother was halfway up the ladder, leaving Sark to make it up by himself. I could see that her desire for revenge had outweighed her concern for him, but I didn't stick around to help him either. I ran to the ladder and followed Sloane up. As I poked my head out over the edge, he fired another shot, and I scrambled down.

"Sydney!" I heard the fear in my mothers voice.

"I'm all right," I promised, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, I took a breath and went up again. This time, there was nothing from Sloane. "He's gone again!" I groaned. My mother came through moments later, and we began searching for a door of some kind. Just as Sark began pulling himself up, I spotted a small bit of light. I pushed on the wall to reveal that there was indeed a door there; it opened fairly easily, and I saw we were on the roof, two stories up. I also spotted Sloane almost immediately; he was just about to start climbing down the fire escape. I recalled spotting that earlier, when we'd circled the building in search of an entrance. I also recalled thinking it didn't look safe, and thus scratching it off the list of ways in.

I dropped down as Sloane aimed his gun at me. Counting those shots and adding in how many he'd already used, I was fairly certain he was out of ammo. The gun being left on the edge of the roof as Sloane started his descent confirmed my belief. I ran to the fire escape and trained my gun on him.

"Sloane! Stop right there!" I hollered. He paused and looked up at me smugly.

"You still won't shoot me, Sydney." The confidence in his voice and lack of concern on his face made my skin crawl. 

"After what you did to my father, what on earth would make you believe that?" I demanded.

"Because, Sydney, I'm still the only one who knows where your Vaughn is." His grin faded into a serious expression. "I didn't mean for… what happened to Jack, that wasn't part of my plan," he said earnestly.

"Planned or not, it still happened. Whether it was your goal or not, my father is dead, and it's _your_ fault!"

"I know that, Sydney, and I'm sorry."

"Stop it!" I screamed. "I don't want to hear your apologies! I don't want to hear how _sorry_ you are for what happened to dad, and to Danny, and to Dixon, and Dixon's family. You are a monster… you are not human!" Sloane stared up at me, eyes dark and angry. Then, to my surprise, he began climbing back up. I glanced behind me, wondering if my mother and Sark had followed me. They weren't there.

"Is it really my fault, Sydney?" Sloane questioned as he stood, facing me. "Do you truly blame me for everything that's happened? Or perhaps, you think, the blame should be focused within," he suggested quietly. I was rattled, more by the fact that he was voicing my own thoughts than anything else.

"You killed my father and Dixon… you had that bomb planted at Dixon's house… of course it's your fault!" I hissed. He shrugged mildly.

"Yes, I may have carried out the acts… but is it truly my fault that things had to happen this way?" he pressed. I knew he was playing mind games, but I couldn't keep the words from affecting me.

"Stop it," I said, trying to sound forceful.

"And is it my fault that you killed Marshall? Or Dr. Barnett? Kendall? Surely Devlin's heart attack can't be blamed on me either, can it Sydney?"

"Stop it!"

"And your friends Will and Francie… granted, Allison was the one to kill them, but we both know it never would've happened if they weren't your friends. We mustn't forget Agent Weiss… I think we're both aware of who killed him."

"Stop it!" I screamed, swinging my gun up to hold it to his head. Through the tears that had accumulated in my eyes, I couldn't see when he stepped away and reached out to grab my wrist. We grappled for the gun, inching ever closer to the edge of the roof.

"Sydney!" My mother's frantic voice rang out clearly as she finally emerged from the building, Sark in tow, and began running towards us. The distraction allowed me to get the upper hand, but wasn't enough to get Sloane to release the gun. He also realized that I'd gained the advantage, and in an act of desperation, took a step back and pulled it closer to him. The motion threw us both off balance, and before I knew what was happening, we'd both toppled over the edge. I frantically reached out and caught the edge of the building, then glanced down to see where Sloane was.

He had caught hold of the fire escape ladder, just inches below my feet. It was then that I realized he had also ended up with the gun. I reached out with my left foot, trying to kick it out of his still uncertain grasp, but he held firm. The effort caused my hands to slip, and I scrambled to maintain my hold, attempting to use the ladder to push myself up. It was then that I felt a pair of hands on each arm, and looked up to see my mother and Sark pulling me up. Sloane, realizing this, reached out and grabbed my leg, trying to block their efforts. He simultaneously began inching his way up the ladder, until he had almost drawn even with me. I was halfway onto the roof, with just my legs hanging over the edge. Seemingly certain that I would be ok, Sark released my arm and maneuvered around my mother, swiftly reaching down and wrapping his hands around Sloane's throat.

Sloane's eyes widened and he began struggling viciously, causing the already weak escape ladder to shake violently. In the next few seconds, there was a sudden flurry of activity as my mother managed to get me all the way up just as the ladder came loose. Sloane, so intent on freeing himself from Sark's chokehold, had no grasp on the building itself. One hand wrapped itself around Sark's wrist, while the other brought the gun up to point at his forehead. As Sark moved to block the weapon, a shot was suddenly fired.

The next thing I knew, Sloane was plummeting down the two story drop, and Sark was slumped over the edge, about to slip. My mother and I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up to safety. While she checked on Sark, I leaned over the edge in an attempt to determine Sloane's fate, and immediately wished I hadn't. My stomach twisted as I saw the portion of rusted ladder protruding from his chest. Hearing my mother's breathing hitch, I turned around to check on her and Sark.

"Mom? Is he…?"

"He's gone, Sydney… he died to protect us…" she pulled her hands away from his throat, and I could see where the bullet had become lodged. I clasped my hands over my mouth and turned away quickly.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, knowing Sark had meant something to her. _More blood on your hands, _the inner voice noted cruelly. I watched as my mother covered Sark's face with part of his shirt, and then stood to face me. I immediately saw the pain lancing through her eyes, and knew it was my fault it was there.

"Let's go… we still have a chance to save Vaughn," she said softly.

"Thank you," I whispered back. She merely nodded, pulling me to her as we walked back into the building and desperately continued the last leg of our quest.

------

Should only have a few chapters left to go… a few, as in one or two…


	24. Ch 24

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Chapter 24

I could breathe a bit easier as we left the carnage on the roof behind us, but there was still the tense knowledge that Vaughn was in there somewhere, most likely injured badly, if not something far worse. I also knew that we would pass the bodies of my father and Dixon if we went back the way I knew we had to, and that realization caused me to hesitate, leading to my mother stopping to give me a worried look.

"Mom, we have looked everywhere; there's no place left to search," I said desperately. 

"Perhaps there is…" she replied cryptically, resuming motion and quickening the pace.

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked, running to catch up.

"The area I first searched… there may be something more there." I thought back, trying to remember; it seemed years ago, but it had been just a couple short hours.

"Wait, you mean when we all split up, and Sark and I ran into Kendall?" she nodded briskly. "But I thought you said your way was a dead end."

"I believed it was, Sydney. However, having been made aware of Kendall apprehending you, I didn't have the opportunity to search as thoroughly as I would have liked. And with all the hidden doors and hallways we've discovered since, I've no doubt there must be something I missed."

"Then we need to hurry!" I urged, feeling my shattered hope beginning to renew itself. Vaughn still had a chance, and I couldn't let that slip through my fingers. We ran through the halls, as reckless in that moment as we had been cautious earlier. My mother faltered as we neared the room my fathers body was still in, and I felt my chest tighten all over again. She slowed, almost to a walk, but quickly returned to herself, and grabbed my hand to lead me away. Moments later, we passed the area where Sark had been shot. My mother stopped again, and I worried that she was lingering in memory of Sark. But I caught the way she looked around, and the strange expression when her eyes finally met mine. 

"Sydney, do you remember what Sloane said when we had him cornered against the wall?" I thought back briefly.

"Which part?" I rasped bitterly.

"He said something… about it being unlikely for us to escape alive if we killed him there…" she trailed off, seemingly expecting me to understand. I shrugged briefly.

"So? He was obviously full of himself, he didn't think we could beat him. Apparently he thought we wouldn't be able to get past any guards or traps if he died." I paused, thinking about my words. "Wait…" I looked to her again, and she nodded slowly.

"Sydney, how many guards or traps have we encountered in here?" My breath caught quickly, and I gave her a worried look.

"You don't think he…"

"That's exactly what I think."

"Ok, but assuming he does have some sort of grand finale of a trap set somewhere, how would it be triggered with him dead?"

"I don't know, but there must be _something_. We need to be careful." She turned and began moving again, more careful this time. I trailed behind her, trying to connect the dots of Sloane's complicated schemes. Suddenly, I froze.

"Mom," I choked out, causing her to look back in fear.

"Sydney? What is it, what's wrong?"

"Vaughn," I whispered. She turned, seemingly looking for him.

"In here?" she questioned.

"No, Mom… the trigger, the final trap- it has to be connected to him somehow." Her eyes slid shut, and she sighed deeply. I felt tears threatening, but fought them back as best I could. "You think I'm right… don't you?" I said under my breath. 

"Yes," she replied quietly, almost apologetically. I nodded numbly.

"Let's keep moving." I brushed past her and took the lead, continuing to retrace our path from earlier. We made quick work of the hallway that had taken so long to clear earlier, and soon came to the room that Dixon's body was in. I glanced in briefly as we passed, almost afraid I would find him gone, and was morbidly relieved to see that his body hadn't been moved at all. My mother touched my shoulder as she went by, and I quickly fell in step with her. A moment later, we were going back up the stairs that led to the 3rd floor.

"One more set of stairs and we're back on the 2nd floor. That's where we need to be," my mother reminded me. I nodded. We both paused as we cleared the top of the staircase, and it was easy to tell we were both thinking the same thing- Sark's comments from earlier that day, when he'd sworn to help us save our loved ones or die trying.

"I don't think he realized how prophetic those words would be," my mother whispered as she turned away.

"Or worse… perhaps he did," I offered. She faltered slightly, but she neither stopped, nor looked back to me. I sighed and followed her down yet another hallway. "You know how to get where we're going, right?" I asked. The look she tossed me was all the answer I needed, so I continued to follow her in silence. We soon came to the room where Kendall's ambush had been waiting. 

I grimaced and covered my face, trying to control my stomach as the overwhelming smell of death invaded my nostrils. My mother, seemingly unfazed, stormed right over the myriad bodies and continued on her way. I trailed after her somewhat timidly, trying to pick my way around the battleground. Recalling that Vaughn's life was still on the line, I took a breath and forged through quickly.

"We're almost there," my mother promised. I nodded, having expected as much. She glanced at her watch, and then paused, looking at me. "We must hurry, Sydney. It's been half an hour since Sloane died; if this trap is timed in any way, we're surely cutting it close." I nodded again, having nothing to say. She looked at me worriedly, but turned and continued moving. Not long after that, I spotted the ladder that Sark and I had climbed down before running into Kendall's group.

"Right there," I said shortly. We went up cautiously, and were soon back where we had first entered.

"Follow me," she called over her shoulder, once again breaking into a run. I hurried after her, past a hallway and two doors, before she abruptly stopped. "This is where I was earlier. It seemed empty, but perhaps I was wrong. Start looking for some kind of hidden door. Five minutes later, I pounded the wall in frustration.

"Nothing!" I stated fiercely.

"There must be something, Sydney. We've been everywhere else."

"But we didn't search those thoroughly either," I pointed out frantically. "What if we- wait. What's that?" I questioned, looking in the corner above my mother. She turned to look.

"That must be the way to trip the hidden door, wherever it is." I nodded in agreement.

"So we need to pull that. But how do we get to it?" She glanced at me thoughtfully, then pulled out her gun and took aim. I grabbed her arm and halted her.

"Is that smart? Shooting it, I mean?"

"Unless you have another idea…" I sighed and backed away, and she again aimed at it. After a moment, she fired a single shot, and the tiny lever shattered

"Mom, nothing happened," I observed, panicked. She looked around, confused.

"It has to be here," she stated, growing irate.

"Maybe it is, but maybe we shouldn't have shot the lever. Maybe we should have just-" she cut me off quickly.

"Did you hear that?" she asked in a low tone.

"Hear what?" She stepped toward the wall closest to her, ignoring my question. Suddenly, she stepped back and kicked it forcefully.

"It moved," I said blankly. 

"But not enough," my mother replied. Seeing her gearing up to try again, I quickly joined in. After two joint kicks, we managed to bust the previously hidden door down.

"Not another hall," I groaned. 

"Just a short one- look, the door's right there," my mother pointed out. I quickly ran down the hall and pushed that door. Before I could get it all the way open, my mother gripped my arm tightly.

"What?" I demanded, somewhat impatient. She didn't speak, only pointed to the wall. I turned to look at it and felt my heart drop.

"There's enough C-4 there to level this whole building. Three or four times over," she said, calmly and sadly.

"We have to find Vaughn!" I cried out desperately.

"Sydney! You see it as clear as I do- the timer is down to 19 seconds, if we continue any further, we'll all die."

"Living without him? I may as well be dead." With one intense shove, the door flew open, and I stepped into the last unexplored room. My eyes were drawn to the corner, where blood was spattered on the wall and an inert form was sprawled on the ground. My breath caught in my throat, and I took a step towards him. Before I could go any closer, I felt my mother come up behind me.

"I'm sorry, Sydney," she whispered. One swift blow, and everything went dark.

When I came to, I could tell that very little time had passed. My mother was half-dragging, half-carrying me away from the building. Just as I managed to focus my eyes on the doorway, an explosion rocked the ground, and next thing I knew, there was nothing left but blazing rubble. I gasped, falling to my knees and clutching my chest. I looked back to find that my mother was already on the ground, covering her face with both hands and occasionally rocking herself back and forth. I could hear the loud wails emanating from her, and my own tears immediately overtook me.

"He was right there!" I sobbed. "I could've gotten to him before it blew!"

"What good would it have done, Sydney?" she asked quietly, her tears slowly subsiding. "He was already gone… you know that as well as I do."

"I could've gotten to him," I repeated. My mother pulled me to her, holding me tightly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered sincerely. I pulled away and looked at her intently.

"Why? Why'd you do it?" I pleaded.

"Sydney, there was nothing that could be done for Vaughn, you know that! I had to get you out… I had to save the only person I have left."

"I could've gotten to him," I repeated again.

"And you would have died doing so." She turned my head so our eyes met again. "Sydney, Michael's…" she paused and took a breath, then started again. "His head wasn't even attached anymore. I know you saw that just as clearly as I did." I shut my eyes and covered my face, trying to block the image from my mind. This time, I didn't protest as she pulled me to her and held me as I cried.


	25. Ch 25

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Chapter 25

I slowly lean forward and rest my head on the table in front of me, trying to will away the images of everything that transpired a year ago. It doesn't work; but then, I know it never does.

Broken and devastated, my mother and I escaped to Russia, where she immediately set about rebuilding her vast network of connections. In just a matter of weeks, she had regained control of the operations she'd left behind when she turned herself in to the CIA. Working together, she and I built it into something stronger than it had ever been before. Shortly thereafter, a new joint task force sprang up, comprised of agents from the FBI, CIA, and NSC. Their sole purpose was the downfall of myself and my mother, along with our operation. We've since had numerous run-ins with their agents, but they've yet to pose a major problem

"Sydney." My mother's voice interrupts my thoughts, and I lift my head to look at her. "Are you all right?"

"Am I ever?" I reply quietly. She frowns, but doesn't comment.

"I have a meeting tonight in Estonia. Would you care to accompany me?" She asks me that every time, though my answer never differs

"Who is it?" I question.

"Viktor Sechka, from Belarus. Potential new ally, promising organization."

"I'll pass." She nods.

"I expected as much. We leave in twenty minutes, if you change your mind."

"I won't."

"I know, but it's always worth a try." With a sad smile, she turns and leaves the room. I slowly look around, studying the four walls that surround me. This is where I spend most of my time now, and has been ever since we set up base here. The walls are dark and empty, comparable to my life; the lack of distraction used to help me focus when I was still relatively useful to my mother and our work. Now, the coolly impersonal room makes it easier for me to revisit the past. She constantly tells me that it isn't healthy, that I need to find a way to move on. I myself am sometimes appalled by what I've allowed myself to become. But it all comes back to one simple fact: I lost everything, and so I truly have nothing left to live for.

This is the conclusion I've reached; I realized it almost a month ago, but my mothers constant presence has since prevented me from taking any sort of action. In truth, I knew she had a meeting scheduled tonight; I have known for two weeks now. I've been biding my time, waiting for this day, and hoping she has no last minute change of plans. I've taken care of everything I need to do before I take my final action. I no longer own anything of any real value, money isn't an issue between my mother and myself, and now the only thing left to do is leave her a note. I begin going through the desk, in search of my favorite stationary and a pen that actually works.

Then I hear a light footstep in the doorway, and I turn to see her standing there, looking at me curiously. I don't know how long she's been there, but I know she witnessed more than I would have liked her to.

"What are you looking for?" she questions as she comes in to stand next to me.

"Nothing, really… just seeing what was in there, I haven't gone through my drawers here recently." She frowns a bit, and I start to feel nervous.

"Didn't you just clean them out last week?" I think for a moment, looking at her uncertainly.

"Did I? Oh. I must have forgotten…" I trail off, mentally kicking myself for such stupidity. She nods lightly, having become accustomed to such things slipping my mind.

"We're leaving now; are you sure you don't want to join us?"

"I'm sure. Maybe next time," I say, as I always do.

"Maybe," she replies softly, as she always does. Leaning down, she gives me a quick hug before making her way out and heading down the stairs. I stand up and walk into the hallway, watching out the windows until I'm sure she and her entourage are truly gone.

"Hey," I call down to Franco, the guard remaining in the house. He looks up at me expectantly. "Until my mother returns, no one is to disturb me for anything unless it's an emergency. Am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am," he replies.

"Thank you." I turn and head back into the office, easing the door shut behind me. Returning to the desk, I continue searching for the stationary, eventually finding it in the bottom drawer. I grab a pen and sit back to think before I begin writing. I shut my eyes for a moment, gathering my thoughts, then open them again and let the words flow.

__

Mom,

I could see by the look in your eyes- you know, and you won't be surprised by what I have to say. Thank you for understanding in some way, and thank you for not trying to stop me. We go through the same process every day; I spend hour after hour thinking, trying to make sense of the events of that week… was that really all it took? Just one week to decimate my life and leave me with nothing?

Nothing but you, I should say. You have been my last link to sanity in a world of madness. You have been my lifeline, my strength, and the only thing that has kept me alive. I hope you know that nothing that has happened, nothing that will happen, is because of you. Any good I have left in my life right now, I attribute to you. Thank you.

But as much as you have tried to save me from myself, time eventually runs out on everything. I can't stay with you anymore. I am a disease, a destroyer, and I don't want to spread that to you. I need to know that at least one vestige of goodness in my life is left in this world, even if I am not. It's ironic that you're the one filling that position. We both know you're not a very good person… but then, neither am I. It doesn't matter anymore.

I think you know as well as I- there is a fate worse than death, and that is life. Life with only one light at the end of a tunnel that's falling apart… life more torturous than any hell imaginable. Simply put, life that is not worth living. And that is why, today, precisely one year to the day my hell began, it must end.

I love you.

I read the note over quickly and sign my name to the bottom. Carefully, I set it up on the neatly organized desk, then reach into my pocket to touch the vial of liquid concealed within. I don't know exactly what it holds, which is how I wanted it to be. All I know is that if my contact came through for me, it should contain a lethal dose of a rare, fast acting poison.

Leaving the vial in my pocket, I slip out of the room, making sure to close the door behind me, and head for my bedroom. I don't spend much time in here, just the few hours of sleep I get each night. The only physical items that mean anything to me anymore are still here in this room. I sit down on the bed, looking at my nightstand, which holds nothing but pictures. Looking over them, I see everything… my father, with a rare smile on his face; Francie and Will; myself with Dixon; Vaughn and Weiss; and my mother. For once, I focus on the last image, rather than the photo of Vaughn. I pick up the framed picture of my mother, taken fairly recently, and study it closely. There is a genuine, radiant smile on her face, but her eyes hold a blinding sadness.

I frown, realizing that what I am about to do will cause that sadness to multiply to an unimaginable degree. And suddenly, I'm not sure I can do that. I referred to her as the last good thing in my life, and I suddenly understand that by going through with this, I will destroy that. I set the photo back down and touch the vial in my pocket, now uncertain as to what I should do. Before I can make any decisions, I hear something downstairs; muffled gunshots. I reach under my pillow and grab the gun, carefully making my way into the hall. At the foot of the stairs, I spot Franco on the ground, and watch as he weakly raises his gun and fires a shot. A moment later, I shudder and turn away as he is riddled with bullets.

Peering over the banister, I catch sight of a team, obviously US agents. Looking out the window, I see that the contingent inside the house seems to be alone, which means I have a chance to escape. I turn and begin to creep back towards my room when a voice carries up from below.

"Freeze!" I pause and look to the bottom of the stairs, where I see a female agent standing near Franco's body, training a gun on me. "Sydney Bristow, I presume?" she questions. I don't respond, and she nods knowingly. I glance over the banister again, seeing that the rest of her team has dispersed, most likely searching the rest of the rooms. It's just the two of us, and I don't think she's seen my gun yet. I carefully slip it into my pants, ensuring she won't see it until I pull it. She keeps a cautious eye on me as she steps around Franco and moves up the stairs before pausing again.

"Lauren Reed, NSC. I'm here to place you and your mother under arrest and return you to the United States of America. If you cooperate, you will not be harmed."

"At least not until the part where they send us to the electric chair," I cut in dryly. She doesn't reply, and we continue to stare one another down. Before either of us has an opening to make a move, gunfire erupts outside, and moments later my mother strides in, followed by two of her men, who walk past us and head down the hall. Her gaze immediately locks on Lauren Reed, who looks terrified but refuses to back down. My mother swivels her assault rifle towards Lauren, who emphasizes the gun she has pointing at me.

"I know you're good at what you do Miss Derevko, but so am I. If you make another move, I won't hesitate to pull the trigger." Lauren's eyes flit back and forth between the two of us, and another terse standoff ensues. My left hand is slowly inching down towards my gun, but before I can pull it, another burst of gunfire interrupts us. This time, it's a trio of NSC agents, tracking down the two guards who had come in with my mother. Both guards and one NSC agent fall dead as they enter the room, and the two remaining agents immediately train their weapons on my mother.

"I'm afraid you lose," Lauren says, almost sounding sincerely apologetic. My gaze wanders the room, taking in the two guns aimed at my mother, her rifle pointed at Lauren, and Reed's own gun directed at me. I know that I'm the only chance we have of getting out of here alive, and so I once again slowly reach for my gun as Lauren continues speaking to my mother.

"If you would please drop your weapon, we will take you in, and I'll put in a good word for you, assuming you cooperate."

"A good word?" Irina spits. "That won't make a difference, and you know it. Our fate is sealed; the only thing left to determine is when it will happen." Lauren nods briefly.

"You're probably right, but at least if we do this my way, you and your daughter will have some time to make your final amends with one another."

"We have no amends left to make," I whisper harshly before squeezing off a shot that takes out one of the NSC agents. Chaos erupts as everyone ducks for cover before the ensuing gunfight gets underway.

"Drop your weapons and we'll allow you to walk out of here alive," my mother calls.

"You know I won't stop coming after you," Lauren replies.

"No, but I also know that after today, you'll not find us ever again." She leans out a bit as she says this, but a shot from Lauren sends her scrambling back. I can see her around the pillar she's using for cover, and I signal for her to keep Lauren occupied. She nods, and moves out to provide a short burst of cover fire, which I use to sneak down the stairs, positioning myself just around the corner from Lauren.

"Is this truly how you want it to end?" Lauren calls.

"Not quite," I reply, stepping out from behind her. She whirls around and steps back, scurrying to raise her gun as I level mine at her. I risk a glance up to try to locate my mother, but she's still concealed and I can't see her; I also don't see the NSC agent rising up to my left until it's too late.

"Sydney!" I hear my mother scream just as I feel the bullet rip through me; I gasp as I stagger back into the wall. I manage to stay on my feet long enough to see her open fire on the agent, finishing him on the spot. Sliding down the wall, I can only watch as she leaps out from behind her pillar, seemingly forgetting about Lauren, who has not forgotten about her.

"This isn't what I wanted," Lauren says softly as she fires a single shot. I don't see where it hits, but I do hear my mothers body land, and I gasp, feeling the tears beginning, caused by both the physical and emotional pain. Lauren turns to me, and then hurries to my side, placing a hand over my chest in an effort to stop the bleeding.

"I truly am sorry," she whispers.

"So am I," I choke out. She looks at me curiously as she reaches for her headset with her left hand, keeping her right firmly pressed against my wound. Drawing on a reserved strength I had forgotten I had, I grasped a shard of glass from the ground next to me and lunged forward, plunging it into her throat. Her eyes widen and steps back as the blood begins to spill from her mouth. I watch coldly as she tumbles down the few remaining stairs, her body landing near Irina. Exerting the last of my strength, I being attempting to crawl down the stairs, trying to reach my mothers side, but I know I won't live long enough to make it. I get close enough to see the blood that bubbles forth from the bullet lodged in her throat; _just like Sark_, I think to myself. I give up the struggle and lean back against the stair above me, calmly awaiting death's embrace.

I shut my eyes and allow my mind to wander, back up the stairs and to my room, where it focuses again on the photos on my nightstand. I see them as clearly as if they were actually right in front of me, but I can feel myself fading as my mind searches out the picture of my mother. I soon see her, still with the radiant smile and pain-filled eyes. My breath grows shallower as I mentally take a closer look at the image; in doing so, I can see that the pain in her eyes has multiplied to a degree previously unimaginable.

I shiver violently, feeling an overwhelming coldness coming over me; images flash through my head, all the people I have loved and lost, and as I feel me leaving myself, I know that this is the way it had to end.


End file.
